her away. With perfect distinctness he could
still see the group before the altar rails, just as
if he had not been a part of it himself. Cis
in her white, Sylvia in fluffy grey; his impassive
brother-in-law’s tall figure; Gordy looking
queer in a black coat, with a very yellow face, and
eyes still half-closed. The rotten part of it
all had been that you wanted to be just
feeling,
and you had to be thinking of the ring, and your gloves,
and whether the lowest button of your white waistcoat
was properly undone. Girls could do both, it
seemed—Cis seemed to be seeing something
wonderful all the time, and Sylvia had looked quite
holy. He himself had been too conscious of the
rector’s voice, and the sort of professional
manner with which he did it all, as if he were making
up a prescription, with directions how to take it.
And yet it was all rather beautiful in a kind of
fashion, every face turned one way, and a tremendous
hush—except for poor old Godden’s
blowing of his nose with his enormous red handkerchief;
and the soft darkness up in the roof, and down in
the pews; and the sunlight brightening the South windows.
All the same, it would have been much jollier just
taking hands by themselves somewhere, and saying out
before God what they really felt—because,
after all, God was everything, everywhere, not only
in stuffy churches. That was how
he would
like to be married, out of doors on a starry night
like this, when everything felt wonderful all round
you. Surely God wasn’t half as small as
people seemed always making Him—a sort of
superior man a little bigger than themselves!
Even the very most beautiful and wonderful and awful
things one could imagine or make, could only be just
nothing to a God who had a temple like the night out
there. But then you couldn’t be married
alone, and no girl would ever like to be married without
rings and flowers and dresses, and words that made
it all feel small and cosy! Cis might have, perhaps,
only she wouldn’t, because of not hurting other
people’s feelings; but Sylvia—never—she
would be afraid. Only, of course, she was young!
And the thread of his thoughts broke—and
scattered like beads from a string.
Leaning out, and resting his chin on his hands, he
drew the night air into his lungs. Honeysuckle,
or was it the scent of lilies still? The stars
all out, and lots of owls to-night—four
at least. What would night be like without owls
and stars? But that was it—you never
could think what things would be like if they weren’t
just what and where they were. You never knew
what was coming, either; and yet, when it came, it
seemed as if nothing else ever could have come.
That was queer-you could do anything you liked until
you’d done it, but when you had done it,
then you knew, of course, that you must always have
had to . . . What was that light, below and
to the left? Whose room? Old Tingle’s—no,
the little spare room—Sylvia’s!
She must be awake, then! He leaned far out,
and whispered in the voice she had said was still furry: