Yours everlastingly,

PUNDITA.

~~~ End of Text ~~~

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THE DUC DE L’OMELETTE.

And stepped at once into a cooler clime. —­ Cowper

KEATS fell by a criticism.  Who was it died of “The Andromache”? {*1} Ignoble souls! —­ De L’Omelette perished of an ortolan.  L’histoire en est breve.  Assist me, Spirit of Apicius!

A golden cage bore the little winged wanderer, enamored, melting, indolent, to the Chaussee D’Antin, from its home in far Peru.  From its queenly possessor La Bellissima, to the Duc De L’Omelette, six peers of the empire conveyed the happy bird.

That night the Duc was to sup alone.  In the privacy of his bureau he reclined languidly on that ottoman for which he sacrificed his loyalty in outbidding his king —­ the notorious ottoman of Cadet.

He buries his face in the pillow.  The clock strikes!  Unable to restrain his feelings, his Grace swallows an olive.  At this moment the door gently opens to the sound of soft music, and lo! the most delicate of birds is before the most enamored of men!  But what inexpressible dismay now overshadows the countenance of the Duc? —­ “Horreur! —­ chien! —­ Baptiste! —­ l’oiseau! ah, bon Dieu! cet oiseau modeste que tu as deshabille de ses plumes, et que tu as servi sans papier!” It is superfluous to say more:  —­ the Duc expired in a paroxysm of disgust.

“Ha! ha! ha!” said his Grace on the third day after his decease.

“He! he! he!” replied the Devil faintly, drawing himself up with an air of hauteur.

“Why, surely you are not serious,” retorted De L’Omelette.  “I have sinned —­ c’est vrai —­ but, my good sir, consider! —­ you have no actual intention of putting such —­ such barbarous threats into execution.”

“No what?” said his majesty —­ “come, sir, strip!”

“Strip, indeed! very pretty i’ faith! no, sir, I shall not strip.  Who are you, pray, that I, Duc De L’Omelette, Prince de Foie-Gras, just come of age, author of the ‘Mazurkiad,’ and Member of the Academy, should divest myself at your bidding of the sweetest pantaloons ever made by Bourdon, the daintiest robe-de-chambre ever put together by Rombert —­ to say nothing of the taking my hair out of paper —­ not to mention the trouble I should have in drawing off my gloves?”

“Who am I? —­ ah, true!  I am Baal-Zebub, Prince of the Fly.  I took thee, just now, from a rose-wood coffin inlaid with ivory.  Thou wast curiously scented, and labelled as per invoice.  Belial sent thee, —­ my Inspector of Cemeteries.  The pantaloons, which thou sayest were made by Bourdon, are an excellent pair of linen drawers, and thy robe-de-chambre is a shroud of no scanty dimensions.”

“Sir!” replied the Duc, “I am not to be insulted with impunity!- Sir!  I shall take the earliest opportunity of avenging this insult!- Sir! you shall hear from me! in the meantime au revoir!” —­ and the Duc was bowing himself out of the Satanic presence, when he was interrupted and brought back by a gentleman in waiting.  Hereupon his Grace rubbed his eyes, yawned, shrugged his shoulders, reflected.  Having become satisfied of his identity, he took a bird’s eye view of his whereabouts.