“There are various other tones of equal celebrity, but I shall mention only two more —­ the tone transcendental and the tone heterogeneous.  In the former the merit consists in seeing into the nature of affairs a very great deal farther than anybody else.  This second sight is very efficient when properly managed.  A little reading of the ‘Dial’ will carry you a great way.  Eschew, in this case, big words; get them as small as possible, and write them upside down.  Look over Channing’s poems and quote what he says about a ’fat little man with a delusive show of Can.’  Put in something about the Supernal Oneness.  Don’t say a syllable about the Infernal Twoness.  Above all, study innuendo.  Hint everything —­ assert nothing.  If you feel inclined to say ‘bread and butter,’ do not by any means say it outright.  You may say any thing and every thing approaching to ’bread and butter.’  You may hint at buck-wheat cake, or you may even go so far as to insinuate oat-meal porridge, but if bread and butter be your real meaning, be cautious, my dear Miss Psyche, not on any account to say ‘bread and butter!’”

I assured him that I should never say it again as long as I lived.  He kissed me and continued: 

“As for the tone heterogeneous, it is merely a judicious mixture, in equal proportions, of all the other tones in the world, and is consequently made up of every thing deep, great, odd, piquant, pertinent, and pretty.

“Let us suppose now you have determined upon your incidents and tone.  The most important portion —­ in fact, the soul of the whole business, is yet to be attended to —­ I allude to the filling up.  It is not to be supposed that a lady, or gentleman either, has been leading the life of a book worm.  And yet above all things it is necessary that your article have an air of erudition, or at least afford evidence of extensive general reading.  Now I’ll put you in the way of accomplishing this point.  See here!” (pulling down some three or four ordinary-looking volumes, and opening them at random).  “By casting your eye down almost any page of any book in the world, you will be able to perceive at once a host of little scraps of either learning or bel-espritism, which are the very thing for the spicing of a Blackwood article.  You might as well note down a few while I read them to you.  I shall make two divisions:  first, Piquant Facts for the Manufacture of Similes, and, second, Piquant Expressions to be introduced as occasion may require.  Write now!” —­ and I wrote as he dictated.

“PIQUANT FACTS FOR SIMILES.  ’There were originally but three Muses —­ Melete, Mneme, Aoede —­ meditation, memory, and singing.’  You may make a good deal of that little fact if properly worked.  You see it is not generally known, and looks recherche.  You must be careful and give the thing with a downright improviso air.

“Again.  ’The river Alpheus passed beneath the sea, and emerged without injury to the purity of its waters.’  Rather stale that, to be sure, but, if properly dressed and dished up, will look quite as fresh as ever.