Amid frequent and thoughtful endeavors to remember; amid earnest struggles to regather some token of the state of seeming nothingness into which my soul had lapsed, there have been moments when I have dreamed of success; there have been brief, very brief periods when I have conjured up remembrances which the lucid reason of a later epoch assures me could have had reference only to that condition of seeming unconsciousness.  These shadows of memory tell, indistinctly, of tall figures that lifted and bore me in silence down —­ down —­ still down —­ till a hideous dizziness oppressed me at the mere idea of the interminableness of the descent.  They tell also of a vague horror at my heart, on account of that heart’s unnatural stillness.  Then comes a sense of sudden motionlessness throughout all things; as if those who bore me (a ghastly train!) had outrun, in their descent, the limits of the limitless, and paused from the wearisomeness of their toil.  After this I call to mind flatness and dampness; and then all is madness —­ the madness of a memory which busies itself among forbidden things.

Very suddenly there came back to my soul motion and sound —­ the tumultuous motion of the heart, and, in my ears, the sound of its beating.  Then a pause in which all is blank.  Then again sound, and motion, and touch —­ a tingling sensation pervading my frame.  Then the mere consciousness of existence, without thought —­ a condition which lasted long.  Then, very suddenly, thought, and shuddering terror, and earnest endeavor to comprehend my true state.  Then a strong desire to lapse into insensibility.  Then a rushing revival of soul and a successful effort to move.  And now a full memory of the trial, of the judges, of the sable draperies, of the sentence, of the sickness, of the swoon.  Then entire forgetfulness of all that followed; of all that a later day and much earnestness of endeavor have enabled me vaguely to recall.

So far, I had not opened my eyes.  I felt that I lay upon my back, unbound.  I reached out my hand, and it fell heavily upon something damp and hard.  There I suffered it to remain for many minutes, while I strove to imagine where and what I could be.  I longed, yet dared not to employ my vision.  I dreaded the first glance at objects around me.  It was not that I feared to look upon things horrible, but that I grew aghast lest there should be nothing to see.  At length, with a wild desperation at heart, I quickly unclosed my eyes.  My worst thoughts, then, were confirmed.  The blackness of eternal night encompassed me.  I struggled for breath.  The intensity of the darkness seemed to oppress and stifle me.  The atmosphere was intolerably close.  I still lay quietly, and made effort to exercise my reason.  I brought to mind the inquisitorial proceedings, and attempted from that point to deduce my real condition.  The sentence had passed; and it appeared to me that a very long interval of time had since elapsed.