They don’t get much of it, and it pleases them.  Always be confiding.  At the same time be prepared for emergencies.  If you are still doubtful as to your reception, try and get yourself slightly wet.  Why people should prefer a wet cat to a dry one I have never been able to understand; but that a wet cat is practically sure of being taken in and gushed over, while a dry cat is liable to have the garden hose turned upon it, is an undoubted fact.  Also, if you can possibly manage it, and it is offered you, eat a bit of dry bread.  The Human Race is always stirred to its deepest depths by the sight of a cat eating a bit of dry bread.’

“My friend’s black Tom profited by the Chinchilla’s wisdom.  A catless couple had lately come to live next door.  He determined to adopt them on trial.  Accordingly, on the first rainy day, he went out soon after lunch and sat for four hours in an open field.  In the evening, soaked to the skin, and feeling pretty hungry, he went mewing to their door.  One of the maids opened it, he rushed under her skirts and rubbed himself against her legs.  She screamed, and down came the master and the mistress to know what was the matter.

“‘It’s a stray cat, mum,’ said the girl.

“‘Turn it out,’ said the master.

“‘Oh no, don’t,’ said the mistress.

“‘Oh, poor thing, it’s wet,’ said the housemaid.

“‘Perhaps it’s hungry,’ said the cook.

“‘Try it with a bit of dry bread,’ sneered the master, who wrote for the newspapers, and thought he knew everything.

“A stale crust was proffered.  The cat ate it greedily, and afterwards rubbed himself gratefully against the man’s light trousers.

“This made the man ashamed of himself, likewise of his trousers.  ’Oh, well, let it stop if it wants to,’ he said.

“So the cat was made comfortable, and stayed on.

“Meanwhile its own family were seeking for it high and low.  They had not cared over much for it while they had had it; now it was gone, they were inconsolable.  In the light of its absence, it appeared to them the one thing that had made the place home.  The shadows of suspicion gathered round the case.  The cat’s disappearance, at first regarded as a mystery, began to assume the shape of a crime.  The wife openly accused the husband of never having liked the animal, and more than hinted that he and the gardener between them could give a tolerably truthful account of its last moments; an insinuation that the husband repudiated with a warmth that only added credence to the original surmise.

“The bull-terrier was had up and searchingly examined.  Fortunately for him, he had not had a single fight for two whole days.  Had any recent traces of blood been detected upon him, it would have gone hard with him.

“The person who suffered most, however, was the youngest boy.  Three weeks before, he had dressed the cat in doll’s clothes and taken it round the garden in the perambulator.  He himself had forgotten the incident, but Justice, though tardy, was on his track.  The misdeed was suddenly remembered at the very moment when unavailing regret for the loss of the favourite was at its deepest, so that to box his ears and send him, then and there, straight off to bed was felt to be a positive relief.