“Well, it did seem a simple thing to advise a man about.  Surely as to a matter of this kind, I, a professed business man, must be able to form a sounder judgment than this poor pumpkin-headed lamb.  It would be heartless to refuse to help him.  I promised to look into the matter, and let him know what I thought.

“He rose and shook me by the hand.  He said he would not try to thank me; words would only seem weak.  He dashed away a tear and went out.

“I brought an amount of thought to bear upon this thousand-dollar investment sufficient to have floated a bank.  I did not mean to make another Hannah job, if I could help it.  I studied the papers Josiah had left with me, but did not attempt to form any opinion from them.  I went down quietly to Josiah’s city, and inspected both businesses on the spot.  I instituted secret but searching inquiries in the neighbourhood.  I disguised myself as a simple-minded young man who had come into a little money, and wormed myself into the confidence of the servants.  I interviewed half the town upon the pretence that I was writing the commercial history of New England, and should like some particulars of their career, and I invariably ended my examination by asking them which was their favourite bar, and where they got their washing done.  I stayed a fortnight in the town.  Most of my spare time I spent at the bar.  In my leisure moments I dirtied my clothes so that they might be washed at the laundry.

“As the result of my investigations I discovered that, so far as the two businesses themselves were concerned, there was not a pin to choose between them.  It became merely a question of which particular trade would best suit the Hacketts.

“I reflected.  The keeper of a bar was exposed to much temptation.  A weak-minded man, mingling continually in the company of topers, might possibly end by giving way to drink.  Now, Josiah was an exceptionally weak-minded man.  It had also to be borne in mind that he had a shrewish wife, and that her whole family had come to live with him.  Clearly, to place Josiah in a position of easy access to unlimited liquor would be madness.

“About a laundry, on the other hand, there was something soothing.  The working of a laundry needed many hands.  Hannah’s relatives might be used up in a laundry, and made to earn their own living.  Hannah might expend her energy in flat-ironing, and Josiah could turn the mangle.  The idea conjured up quite a pleasant domestic picture.  I recommended the laundry.

“On the following Monday, Josiah wrote to say that he had bought the laundry.  On Tuesday I read in the Commercial Intelligence that one of the most remarkable features of the time was the marvellous rise taking place all over New England in the value of hotel and bar property.  On Thursday, in the list of failures, I came across no less than four laundry proprietors; and the paper added, in explanation, that the American washing industry, owing to the rapid growth of Chinese competition, was practically on its last legs.  I went out and got drunk.