“Dad, prepare yourself for the big laugh.  This is where you throw your head back and roar with honest mirth.  I met Lord Percy Whipple last night at the Six Hundred Club.  Words ensued.  I fell upon Percy and beat his block off!  How it started, except that we both wanted the same table, I couldn’t say.  ’Why, that I cannot tell,’ said he, ’but ‘twas a famous victory!’ If I had known, dad, nothing would have induced me to lay a hand upon Perce, save in the way of kindness, but, not even knowing who he was, it would appear from contemporary accounts of the affair that I just naturally sailed in and expunged the poor, dear boy!”

The stunning nature of this information had much the same effect on Mr. Crocker as the announcement of his ruin has upon the Good Old Man in melodrama.  He sat clutching the arms of his chair and staring into space, saying nothing.  Dismay was written upon his anguished countenance.

His collapse sobered Jimmy.  For the first time he perceived that the situation had another side than the humorous one which had appealed to him.  He had anticipated that Mr. Crocker, who as a general thing shared his notions of what was funny and could be relied on to laugh in the right place, would have been struck, like himself, by the odd and pleasing coincidence of his having picked on for purposes of assault and battery the one young man with whom his stepmother wished him to form a firm and lasting friendship.  He perceived now that his father was seriously upset.  Neither Jimmy nor Mr. Crocker possessed a demonstrative nature, but there had always existed between them the deepest affection.  Jimmy loved his father as he loved nobody else in the world, and the thought of having hurt him was like a physical pain.  His laughter died away and he set himself with a sinking heart to try to undo the effect of his words.

“I’m awfully sorry, dad.  I had no idea you would care.  I wouldn’t have done a fool thing like that for a million dollars if I’d known.  Isn’t there anything I can do?  Gee whiz!  I’ll go right round to Percy now and apologise.  I’ll lick his boots.  Don’t you worry, dad.  I’ll make it all right.”

The whirl of words roused Mr. Crocker from his thoughts.

“It doesn’t matter, Jimmy.  Don’t worry yourself.  It’s only a little unfortunate, because your stepmother says she won’t think of our going back to America till these people here have given me a title.  She wants to put one over on her sister.  That’s all that’s troubling me, the thought that this affair will set us back, this Lord Percy being in so strong with the guys who give the titles.  I guess it will mean my staying on here for a while longer, and I’d liked to have seen another ball-game.  Jimmy, do you know they call baseball Rounders in this country, and children play it with a soft ball!”

Jimmy was striding up and down the little room.  Remorse had him in its grip.

“What a damned fool I am!”