“They cannot,” said the Lord; “my decrees prevent them.”

“Nevertheless,” resumed St. Cornelius, “in virtue of their baptism their actions no longer remain indifferent.  Henceforth they will be good or bad, susceptible of merit or of demerit.”

“That is precisely the question we have to deal with,” said the Lord.

“I see only one solution,” said St. Augustine.  “The penguins will go to hell.”

“But they have no soul,” observed St. Irenaeus.

“It is a pity,” sighed Tertullian.

“It is indeed,” resumed St. Gal.  “And I admit that my disciple, the holy Mael, has, in his blind zeal, created great theological difficulties for the Holy Spirit and introduced disorder into the economy of mysteries.”

“He is an old blunderer,” cried St. Adjutor of Alsace, shrugging his shoulders.

But the Lord cast a reproachful look on Adjutor.

“Allow me to speak,” said he; “the holy Mael has not intuitive knowledge like you, my blessed ones.  He does not see me.  He is an old man burdened by infirmities; he is half deaf and three parts blind.  You are too severe on him.  However, I recognise that the situation is an embarrassing one.”

“Luckily it is but a passing disorder,” said St. Irenaeus.  “The penguins are baptized, but their eggs are not, and the evil will stop with the present generation.”

“Do not speak thus, Irenaeus my son,” said the Lord.  “There are exceptions to the laws that men of science lay down on the earth because they are imperfect and have not an exact application to nature.  But the laws that I establish are perfect and suffer no exception.  We must decide the fate of the baptized penguins without violating any divine law, and in a manner conformable to the decalogue as well as to the commandments of my Church.”

“Lord,” said St. Gregory Nazianzen, “give them an immortal soul.”

“Alas!  Lord, what would they do with it,” sighed Lactantius.  “They have not tuneful voices to sing your praises.  They would not be able to celebrate your mysteries.”

“Without doubt,” said St. Augustine, “they would not observe the divine law.”

“They could not,” said the Lord.

“They could not,” continued St. Augustine.  “And if, Lord, in your wisdom, you pour an immortal soul into them, they will burn eternally in hell in virtue of your adorable decrees.  Thus will the transcendent order, that this old Welshman has disturbed, be re-established.”

“You propose a correct solution to me, son of Monica,” said the Lord, “and one that accords with my wisdom.  But it does not satisfy my mercy.  And, although in my essence I am immutable, the longer I endure, the more I incline to mildness.  This change of character is evident to anyone who reads my two Testaments.”

As the discussion continued without much light being thrown upon the matter and as the blessed showed a disposition to keep repeating the same thing, it was decided to consult St. Catherine of Alexandria.  This is what was usually done in such cases.  St. Catherine while on earth had confounded fifty very learned doctors.  She knew Plato’s philosophy in addition to the Holy Scriptures, and she also possessed a knowledge of rhetoric.