“He has given you the dor now, sir,” said Lady Bath; “let the old man say his say.”
“I bring, therefore, as my small contribution to this day’s feast; first a Latin epigram, as thus—”
“Latin? Let us hear it forthwith,” cried my lady.
And the old pedant mouthed out—
“Torriguiam Tamaris
ne spernat; Leighius addet
Mox terras terris, inclyte
Drake, tuis.”
“Neat, i’ faith, la!” Whereon all the rest, as in duty bound, approved also.
“This for the erudite: for vulgar ears the vernacular is more consonant, sympathetic, instructive; as thus:—
“Famed Argo ship,
that noble chip, by doughty Jason’s steering,
Brought back to Greece
the golden fleece, from Colchis home
careering;
But now her fame is
put to shame, while new Devonian Argo,
Round earth doth run
in wake of sun, and brings wealthier cargo.”
“Runs with a right fa-lal-la,” observed Cary; “and would go nobly to a fiddle and a big drum.”
“Ye Spaniards,
quake! our doughty Drake a royal swan is tested,
On wing and oar, from
shore to shore, the raging main who
breasted:—
But never needs to chant
his deeds, like swan that lies a-dying,
So far his name, by
trump of fame, around the sphere is flying.”
“Hillo ho! schoolmaster!” shouted a voice from behind; “move on, and make way for Father Neptune!” Whereon a whole storm of raillery fell upon the hapless pedagogue.
“We waited for the parson’s alligator, but we wain’t for yourn.”
“Allegory! my children, allegory!” shrieked the man of letters.
“What do ye call he an alligator for? He is but a poor little starved evat!”
“Out of the road, old Custis! March on, Don Palmado!”
These allusions to the usual instrument of torture in West-country schools made the old gentleman wince; especially when they were followed home by—
“Who stole Admiral Grenville’s brooms, because birch rods were dear?”
But proudly he shook his bald head, as a bull shakes off the flies, and returned to the charge once more.
“Great Alexander, famed commander, wept and made a pother, At conquering only half the world, but Drake had conquer’d t’other; And Hercules to brink of seas!—”
“Oh—!”
And clapping both hands to the back of his neck, the schoolmaster began dancing frantically about, while his boys broke out tittering, “O! the ochidore! look to the blue ochidore! Who’ve put ochidore to maister’s poll!”
It was too true: neatly inserted, as he stooped forward, between his neck and his collar, was a large live shore-crab, holding on tight with both hands.