I could not repress a sigh as I spoke.  How peculiar is the irony of fate.  Why should I deny (particularly in this, my diary, which contains the outpourings of my soul) that I have often wished to win the love of some good strong man who could protect me in the battle of life and be willing, as it were, like the knights of old, to enter the lists for my sake.  This I could in no way imagine Mr. Rawlings doing.  My conception of the hero of my dreams may have varied from time to time, but never has it included even the smallest of the characteristics of William Rawlings.  He reminds me of nothing so much as the very shaggiest bear I have ever seen at the Zoo—­not even a nice white Polar bear, but one of those nondescript, snuff-coloured kinds that are all ragged ends from top to toe.  That a man with such a rough exterior could be capable of such sickening sentimentality as Elizabeth had just described quite nauseated me.  It made me dislike him more, if possible, than I had done before.

‘Remember, Elizabeth,’ I said, looking at her steadily, ’you must not repeat a word of this to any one.  Mr. Rawlings must never know that he has been discovered in this——­’

’Well, ‘e knows that I know,’ she interrupted.

I stared.  ‘What do you mean?’

‘You see, me bein’ in the room when ‘e was a-kissin’ of your fotograft, ‘e looks up an’ sees me afore I could get away, quiet, like.  “Good lor’, Elizabeth,” ’e breaks out, “you don’t mean to tell me that you sor everything, that you ’eard my ‘eart strings burstin’ in a manner of speakin’.”

‘"I’m afraid I did, sir,” ses I, “I was just comin’ in to dust an’ your sighs bein’ rather loud, I couldn’t ’elp overhearing.”

’"Listen,” ‘e ses, goin’ ashy pale, “you must never tell ’er.  I will win ’er in my own way,” ’e ses.  “In the meantime, ’ere is ten shillings, my good girl.  Will you put in a word for me with Miss Worryington from time to time?  She may not like me just yet, but I’ll make ’er mine or blow my brains out.”

’"I shouldn’t do that, sir, if I was you,” I ses, “leastways not yet until you see ’ow things turns out, like.”

‘"I’m goin’ to lead a better life,” ‘e goes on, “an’ stop puttin’ baccy ash in my pocket, an’ dustin’ my boots with my handkercher, an’ all those little things that a gentle woman might find careless."’

‘Elizabeth,’ I put in weakly, ’this is terrible.  I do not want Mr. Rawlings to make any sacrifices for me.  I do not want Mr. Rawlings.  Nothing in the world would make me consider his suit.’

‘’Is suit’s all right if it were well brushed an’ pressed,’ she said.  ’An if ’e isn’t quite a fancy style ‘isself we can’t all pick an’ choose in this world.  Don’t go despisin’ of ’im too much, miss.  If ’e was properly done up, now, and sort o’ dusted an’ polished, like, ’e mightn’t be so bad.’

I turned on her with burning indignation.  ’How dare you openly assist his plans after confessing to taking his money as a bribe?  Don’t mention his name to me again, or I shall refuse to listen to you.’