been in the ring myself, and knows what fighting a
cove is, and though I was fool enough to back those
birds, I was never quite fool enough to lend anybody
money. What I am about to propose is something
very different from going to my landlord, or lending
any capital; something which, though it will put money
into my pocket, will likewise put something handsome
into your own. I want to get up a fight in this
here neighbourhood, which would be sure to bring plenty
of people to my house, for a week before and after
it takes place; and as people can’t come without
drinking, I think I could, during one fortnight, get
off for the brewer all the sour and unsaleable liquids
he now has, which people wouldn’t drink at any
other time, and by that means, do you see, liquidate
my debt; then, by means of betting, making first all
right, do you see, I have no doubt that I could put
something handsome into my pocket and yours, for I
should wish you to be the fighting man, as I think
I can depend upon you.” “You really
must excuse me,” said I, “I have no wish
to figure as a pugilist, besides there is such a difference
in our ages; you may be the stronger man of the two,
and perhaps the hardest hitter, but I am in much better
condition, am more active on my legs, so that I am
almost sure I should have the advantage, for, as you
very properly observed, ‘Youth will be served.’”
“Oh, I didn’t mean to fight,” said
the landlord. “I think I could beat you
if I were to train a little; but in the fight I propose
I looks more to the main chance than anything else.
I question whether half so many people could be brought
together if you were to fight with me as the person
I have in view, or whether there would be half such
opportunities for betting; for I am a man, do you
see; the person I wants you to fight with is not a
man, but the young woman you keeps company with.”
“The young woman I keep company with,”
said I; “pray what do you mean?”
“We will go into the bar, and have something,”
said the landlord, getting up. “My niece
is out, and there is no one in the house, so we can
talk the matter over quietly.” Thereupon
I followed him into the bar, where, having drawn me
a jug of ale, helped himself as usual to a glass of
sherry, and lighted a cigar, he proceeded to explain
himself further. “What I wants is to get
up a fight between a man and a woman; there never
has yet been such a thing in the ring, and the mere
noise of the matter would bring thousands of people
together, quite enough to drink out, for the thing
should be close to my house, all the brewer’s
stock of liquids, both good and bad.”
“But,” said I, “you were the other
day boasting of the respectability of your house;
do you think that a fight between a man and a woman
close to your establishment would add to its respectability?”
“Confound the respectability of my house,”
said the landlord, “will the respectability
of my house pay the brewer, or keep the roof over my
head? No, no! when respectability won’t