he used his left arm too awkwardly for the event not
to have had a recent date. Had it anything to
do with his melancholy? Here was a topic for
my vagabond imagination, and endless were the romances
woven by it during my silent dinner. For the
reader must be told of one peculiarity in me, because
to it much of the strange complications of my story
are due; complications into which a mind less active
in weaving imaginary hypotheses to interpret casual
and trifling facts would never have been drawn.
From my childhood I have been the victim of my constructive
imagination, which has led me into many mistakes and
some scrapes; because, instead of contenting myself
with plain, obvious evidence, I have allowed myself
to frame hypothetical interpretations, which, to acts
simple in themselves, and explicable on ordinary motives,
render the simple-seeming acts portentous. With
bitter pangs of self-reproach I have at times discovered
that a long and plausible history constructed by me,
relating to personal friends, has crumpled into a
ruin of absurdity, by the disclosure of the primary
misconception on which the whole history was based.
I have gone, let us say, on the supposition that
two people were secretly lovers; on this supposition
my imagination has constructed a whole scheme to explain
certain acts, and one fine day I have discovered indubitably
that the supposed lovers were not lovers, but confidants
of their passions in other directions, and, of course,
all my conjectures have been utterly false. The
secret flush of shame at failure has not, however,
prevented my falling into similar mistakes immediately
after.
When, therefore, I hereafter speak of my “constructive
imagination,” the reader will know to what I
am alluding. It was already busy with Bourgonef.
To it must be added that vague repulsion, previously
mentioned. This feeling abated on the second
day; but, although lessened, it remained powerful enough
to prevent my speaking to him. Whether it would
have continued to abate until it disappeared, as such
antipathies often disappear, under the familiarities
of prolonged intercourse, without any immediate appeal
to my amour propre, I know not; but every reflective
mind, conscious of being accessible to antipathies,
will remember that one certain method of stifling
them is for the object to make some appeal to our
interest or our vanity: in the engagement of these
more powerful feelings, the antipathy is quickly strangled.
At any rate it is so in my case, and was so now.
On the third day, the conversation at table happening
to turn, as it often turned, upon St. Sebald’s
Church, a young Frenchman, who was criticising its
architecture with fluent dogmatism, drew Bourgonef
into the discussion, and thereby elicited such a display
of accurate and extensive knowledge, no less than delicacy
of appreciation, that we were all listening spellbound.
In the midst of this triumphant exposition the irritated
vanity of the Frenchman could do nothing to regain