Behold them!  Gaze upon the character called Daniel Voorhees Pike!  See what long strides he takes, and with what pretty tiny feet!  Observe the manliness with which he thrusts his pink little hands deep in the pockets of his—­or somebody’s—­pantaloons!

Look at the Grand Duke Vasili of Russia, his sweet oval face and rosy mouth partly obscured by mustache and goatee of a most strange wooliness.

Observe the ineradicable daintiness of the Honorable Almeric St. Aubyn, but more particularly attend to that villain of helpless loveliness, the Earl of Hawcastle.  The frightful life which, it is indicated, the Earl has led, leaves no tell-tale marks upon his blooming countenance.  His only facial disfigurement consists in a mustache which, by reason of its grand-ducal lanateness, seems to hint at a mysterious relationship between the British and Russian noblemen.

Take note, moreover, of the outlines of the players.  If ever earl was belted it was this one.  If ever duke in evening dress revealed delectable convexities of figure, it was this duke.  If ever worthy male from Indiana spoke in a soprano voice and was lithe, alluring, and recurvous, she was Daniel Voorhees Pike.

A young woman seated near us described to her escort the personal characteristics of the various young ladies on the stage, and when we heard her call one girl who played in a betrousered part, “a perfect darling,” we echoed inwardly the sentiment.  All were darlings.  And this especial “perfect darling” appeared as well to be a “perfect thirty-six.”

The Earl was my undoing.  At a critical point in the unfolding of the plot there was talk of his having been connected with a scandal in St. Petersburg.  This he attempted to deny, and though I am unable to quote the exact words of his denial, the sound of it lingers sweetly in my memory.  Nor would the exact words, could I give them, convey, in print, the quality of what was said, for the Earl, and all the rest, spoke in the soft, melodious tones of Mississippi.

“What you-all fussin’ raound heah for, this mownin’?” That, perhaps, conveys some sense of a line he spoke on entering.

And when, in reply, one of the others mentioned the scandal at St. Petersburg, the flavor of the Earl’s retort, as its cooing tones remain with me, was this: 

“Wha’, honey!  What you-all mean hintin’ raound ’baout St. Petuhsbuhg?  I reckon you don’ know what you talkin’ ’baout!  Ah nevuh was in that taown in all ma bo’n days!”

What followed I am unable to relate, for the Earl’s speech caused me to become emotional, and my companion, after informing me severely that I was making myself conspicuous, removed me from the chapel.

The auburn goddess was still on duty at the door as we went out.  Advancing, she placed in each of our hands a quarter.  I regret to say that, in my shaken state, I misinterpreted this action.

“Oh, no! Please!” I protested, fearing that she thought we had not enjoyed the performance, and was therefore returning our money.  “It really wasn’t bad at all.  We’re only going because we have an engagement.”