“November 3.—­All things considered, could I, under any circumstances, have more opportunities for self-culture and for doing good than I have in my present position?

“For one thing, there is too much demand on me for physical action.  My heart and head have not their share of time.  But when I consider, I am at a loss to know how we can possibly diminish our business in any way without a still greater demand on us for physical labor in consequence of diminishing it.

“Yesterday afternoon I went alone in my bedroom and I was led to pray, and to think what more I can do for the friends around me than I now do.  This morning I arose and prayed, and felt determined not to let any outward event disturb my inward life; that nothing should ruffle my inward peace, and that this day should be one of interior life, let come what would.

“Often I think of my past life and my present with such a strength of emotion that I would cry aloud, ’O Heaven help me from my course!  This is not the life I would lead, but how shall I change it?  O Lord! wilt Thou guide me and lead me, no matter what pain or distress I may have to pass through, to the true path Thou wouldst have me go in?  Oh!  I thank Thee for all Thou hast in any way inflicted on me; it has been to me the greatest blessing I could have received.  And, O Lord! chasten me more, for I need it.  How shall I live so that I may be the best I can be under any conditions?  If those in which I now am are not the best, where shall I go or how shall I change them?  Teach me, O Lord! and hear my humble prayer.’”

The following account of his curious inner experiences tells of the positive interference of God and His angels, supplementing the calmer moods in which Isaac longed for and struggled towards the settled condition only to be attained after his entering the Church.

“November 5.—­How is it and why is it that I feel around me the constant presence of invisible beings who affect my sensibility, and with whom I converse, as it were, in thought and feeling, but not in expression?  At times they so move me that I would escape them, if I could, by running away from where I am.  I can scarcely keep still; I feel like beating, raving, and grasping what I know not.  Ah! it is an unearthly feeling, and painfully afflicts my heart.  How to get rid of it I do not know.  If I remain quietly where I am, by collecting its scattered rays it burns more deeply into my soul, bringing forth deep sighs, groans, and at times demanding all my energy to repress an unnatural howl.

“How shall I escape this?  By remaining here and trying to bear it, or by travelling?  To do the latter has often occurred to me of late.  By such a cause I was driven from home last winter.  What the result will be this time I cannot tell; but if I did know, I would not wait, as I did then, until it came on me with such power as to be torturing in the extreme.  Ah, what nervous strength and energy