Father L’hoir had not forgotten his young friend, who received a letter from him a couple of months after leaving Wittem, which breathes in every word the tenderest utterance of friendship; and a year after, another one similarly affectionate, congratulating him on his ordination.  This Father L’hoir must have been a noble soul to write so lovingly; we wish that space permitted us to give his letters to the reader.

Amongst the papers left by Father Hecker we found one carefully preserved, bearing date at St. Mary’s, Clapham, the feast of St. Raphael (Oct. 24) 1848, a month after his arrival there.  It is a manuscript of thirty-nine closely-written pages of letter-paper.  It is an account of conscience made, no doubt, to Father de Held, though its preparation may have occupied some of his time before leaving Wittem.  We will make some extracts.  It begins thus: 

“Before commencing what is to follow, I cannot resist making the confession of my feebleness and incapacity to express even conveniently those things which I feel it my duty to relate, that I may walk with greater security and quicker step in the way of God.  It would not surprise me if one who has not taken the pains to investigate this matter sufficiently should doubt indeed whether such singular graces, seeing the faults I daily commit and my many imperfections, had really been given to such an individual.  A similar remark to this was made by my last director.  But this is a cause of much joy and consolation to me; (that is to say) that my interior life is hid and unknown to others except those who direct me.  All that I can adduce in behalf of its truth and credibility are these words of sacred Scripture:  Spiritus ubi vult spirat (the Spirit breatheth where He will); and, ubi autem abundavit delictum, superabundavit gratia (but where sin abounded there did grace more abound.)

. . . . . . . .

“At that time (towards the end of the novitiate) I felt a special attraction and devotion toward Our Blessed Lord in the Holy Sacrament and an almost irresistible desire of receiving the blessed Communion of Divine love.  This desire so far from having abated has greatly increased, so that I have a constant hunger and thirst for Our Lord in the sacrament of His body and blood.  If it were possible I would desire to receive no other food than this, for it is the only nourishment that I have a real appetite for.  I cannot consider it other than the source and substance of my whole spiritual and interior life.  The day on which I have been deprived of it I have experienced a debility and want of both material and spiritual life like one who is nearly famished.  The doctrine of the real presence of our Lord seems to be with me a matter of conviction arising more from actual experience than from faith.  At times, when I would make my visit, I am seized with such a violent love towards the Blessed Sacrament that I am forced to break off immediately, being unable to support the attraction of the Spouse, the Beloved, the Only One of my soul.  For some time back, wherever I may be, or on whatever side I turn, I seem to feel the presence of Our Lord in the Sacrament in the tabernacle.  It seems as though I were in the same sphere as our Lord in the sacrament, where there appears no time nor space, yet both are.