Rats so treated have already been liberated in the granaries at Odessa; in three months, rat-trappings there have fallen by 26.4 percent, and grain-losses to rats by 32.09 percent.

We are shipping you six dozen sterilized male rats, which you can use for sterilization stock, and, by so augmenting their numbers, may duplicate our own successes.

Curiously enough, this effect of venereally contagious sterility was discovered quite accidentally, in connection with the use of hard radiations for human sterilization (criminals, mental defectives, etc.).  Knowing the disastrous possible effects of an epidemic of contagious human sterility, all persons so sterilized were liquidated as soon as the contagious nature of their sterility had been discovered, with the exception of a dozen or so convicts, who had been released before this discovery was made.  It is believed that at least some of them have made their way over the border and into the territory of the United Peoples’ Republics of East Asia.  I must caution your Government to be on the lookout of them.  Among a people still practicing ancestor-worship, an epidemic of sterility would be a disaster indeed.

My Government must insist that your Government take some definite step toward the solution of the Khakum River question; the present position of the Government of the United Peoples’ Republics of East Asia on this subject is utterly unacceptable to the Government of the Union of East European Soviet Republics, and must be revised very considerably.

I have the honor, etc., etc.,

Vladmir N. Dzhoubinsky

Coded radiogram, Dzhoubinsky to Krylenkoff:

25 OCTOBER, 1984

ASCERTAIN IMMEDIATELY CAUSE OF RELEASE OF NUCLEAR ENERGY VICINITY OF
NOVA ZEMBLA THIS AM

DZHOUBINSKY

Coded radiogram, Wu Fung Tung to Sing Yat:

25 OCTOBER, 1984

ASCERTAIN IMMEDIATELY CAUSE OF RELEASE OF NUCLEAR ENERGY VICINITY OF
NOVA ZEMBLA THIS AM

WU

Letter from the Ameer of Afghanistan to UEESR Premier-President Mouzorgin and UPREA President Sung Li-Yin:

26 October, 1984

SHERE ALI ABDALLAH, Ameer of Afghanistan, Master of Kabul, Lord of Herat and Kandahar, Keeper of Khyber Pass, Defender of the True Faith, Servant of the Most High and Sword-Hand of the Prophet; Ph.D.  (Princeton); Sc.B. (Massachusetts Institute of Technology); M.A.  (Oxford):  to their Excellencies A.A.  Mouzorgin, Premier-President of the Union of East European Soviet Republics, and Sung Li-Yin, President of the United Peoples’ Republics of East Asia,

Greetings, in the name of Allah!