As a further addition to our endowment, I would have a tax upon all inscriptions and tombstones, monuments and obelisks, erected to the honour of the dead, or on porticoes and trophies, to the honour of the living; because these will naturally and properly come under the article of lies, pride, vanity, &c.

And if all inscriptions throughout this kingdom were impartially examined, in order to tax those which should appear demonstrably false or flattering, I am convinced that not one-fifth part of the number would, after such a scrutiny, escape exempted.

Many an ambitious turbulent spirit would then be found, belied with the opposite title of “lover of his country”; and many a Middlesex justice, as improperly described, “sleeping in hope of salvation.”

Many an usurer, discredited by the appellations of “honest and frugal”; and many a lawyer, with the character of conscientious and “equitable.”

Many a British statesman and general, decaying, with more honour than they lived; and their dusts distinguished with a better reputation than when they were animated.

Many dull parsons, improperly styled eloquent; and as many stupid physicians, improperly styled learned.

Yet, notwithstanding the extensiveness of a tax upon such monumental impositions, I will count only upon twenty thousand, at five pounds per annum each, which will amount to one hundred thousand pounds annually.

To these annuities, I would also request the Parliament of this nation to allow the benefit of two lotteries yearly; by which the hospital would gain two hundred thousand pounds clear.  Nor can such a request seem any way extraordinary, since it would be appropriated to the benefit of fools and knaves, which is the sole cause of granting one for this present year.

In the last place, I would add the estate of Richard Norton, Esq.;[180] and, to do his memory all possible honour, I would have his statue erected in the very first apartment of the hospital, or in any other which might seem more apt.  And, on his monument, I would permit a long inscription, composed by his dearest friends, which should remain tax-free for ever.

From these several articles, therefore, would annually arise the following sums.

M. Th.  H.
P. Ann.

From the voluntary contribution, L3,500,000
From the estates of the incurables, 200,000
By the tax upon tombstones, monuments,
&c. (that of Richard Norton, Esq. always
excepted,) 100,000
By two annual lotteries, 200,000
By the estate of Richard Norton, Esq. 6,000
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Total, L4,006,000[181]
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And the necessary sum for the hospital being L3,650,000
There will remain annually over and above, 356,000