“No fundamental principle involved?  There is the fundamental principle of all business success involved,” said the Idiot, warming up to his subject.  “What is the basic quality in the good business man?  Alertness.  What is ‘alertness?’ Wide-awakeishness.  In this town it is impossible for a man to sleep after a stated hour, and for no other reason than that the clatter of the pavements prevents him.  As a promoter of alertness, where is your cowpath?  The cowpaths of the Catskills, and we all know the mountains are riddled by ’em, didn’t keep Rip Van Winkle awake, and I’ll wager Mr. Whitechoker here a year’s board that there isn’t a man in his congregation who can sleep a half-hour—­much less twenty years—­with Broadway within hearing distance.

“I tell you, Mr. Pedagog,” he continued, “it is the man from the cowpath who gets buncoed.  It’s the man from the cowpath who can’t make a living even out of what he calls his ‘New York Store.’  It is the man from the cowpath who rejoices because he can sell ten dollars’ worth of sheep’s-wool for five dollars, and is happy when he goes to meeting dressed up in a four-dollar suit of clothes that has cost him twenty.”

“Your theory, my young friend,” observed the School-master, “is as fragile as this cup”—­tapping his coffee-cup.  “The countryman of whom you speak is up and doing long before you or I or your successful merchant, who has waxed great on noise as you put it, is awake.  If the early bird catches the worm, what becomes of your theory?”

“The early bird does get the bait,” replied the Idiot.  “But he does not catch the fish, and I’ll offer the board another wager that the Belgian block merchant is wider awake at 8 A.M., when he first opens his eyes, than his suburban brother who gets up at five is all day.  It’s the extent to which the eyes are opened that counts, and as for your statement that the fact that prosperity and noisy streets go hand in hand is true only because it happens to be so, that is an argument which may be applied to any truth in existence.  I am because I happen to be, not because I am.  You are what you are because you are, because if you were not, you would not be what you are.”

“Your logic is delightful,” said the School-master, scornfully.

“I strive to please,” replied the Idiot.  “But I do agree with the Bibliomaniac that our streets are far from perfection,” he added.  “In my opinion they should be laid in strata.  On the ground-floor should be the sewers and telegraph pipes; above this should be the water-mains, then a layer for trucks, then a broad stratum for carriages, above which should be a promenade for pedestrians.  The promenade for pedestrians should be divided into four sections—­one for persons of leisure, one for those in a hurry, one for peddlers, and one for beggars.”

“Highly original,” said the Bibliomaniac.

“And so cheap,” added the School-master.

“In no part of the world,” said the Idiot, in response to the last comment, “do we get something for nothing.  Of course this scheme would be costly, but it would increase prosperity—­”