tasty tha gets it; an then tha walks aght to what tha calls thi wark, an comes to thi dinner, an off agean wol drinkin time, an after that tha awther gooas an caars i’ some Jerryhoil, or else tha sits rockin thisen i’th front o’th fair, smokin thi bacca an enjoyin thisen wol bedtime.  Ther’s some fowk dooant know when they’re weel done to.  But aw know who it is ’at has to tew an slave all th’ day, wi hardly a chonce to wipe th’ sweeat off mi face.”

“But, if tha’ll lissen, aw wor gooin to remark, If aw wor——­”

“Tha maks a deeal too monny remarks.  Tha’ll sit thear, remarkin an praichin bi th’ haar together, an nivver give me a chonce to get in a word edgeways.  But awm just sick an stall’d o’ harkenin to thi.  They wor a time, years sin nah,—­but aw can remember it tho’ tha’s forgetten it,—­when tha used to sit an lissen to owt aw had to say, an my word wor law then.  An if mi little finger warked tha’d hardly be able to sleep ov a neet for trubblin abaat it.  But it’s different nah.  Aw dooant believe it ud disturb thi if mi heead had to tummel off mi shoolders.  Aw’ve studden a gooid deeal sin aw wor wed to thee, an aw expect aw’st ha to stand a lot moor; but one thing aw willn’t put up wi, an that is, sittin an listenin to thee, an havin to keep mi tongue still.  Soa tha knows.”

“Well, but if aw wor——­”

“Nah, let it stop just whear it is.  Tha’s getten a tawkin fit on aw know,—­aw wonder thi jaws dooant wark.  But aw willn’t hear another word!  Noa, net a word!”

“But if——­”

“Ther’s noa ‘buts’ abaat it!  Hold thi noise, do!  Tha’d tawk a hen an chickens to deeath.  Tha wod.  Aw wonder if aw shall ivver have a bit o’ peace?—­Net befoor awm laid low, aw reckon.”

Sammywell’s Soft Snap.

“What wor yond clatter, Mally?  Has somdy been smashin summat?”

“Nowt ’at meeans mich.  It wor a accident an couldn’t be helpt.”

“Well, what wor it?  Can’t ta spaik?”

“It’s nowt at’s owt to do wi thee, soa tha needn’t let it bother thi heead; but if tha’rt soa crazy to know aw can tell thi.—­It’s awr Hepsabah’s Jerrymiah at’s brokken th’ winder i’th weshus.  Nah, arta satisfied?”

“Satisfied!  Now!  Satisfied bi gum!  Does ta think aw’ve nowt else to do wi mi brass but to buy winders for Jerrymiah to smash?  Ha is it awr Hepsabah can’t keep her childer at hooam?  When we’d childer we nivver sent em raand to ther gronfather’s to smash winders!  An if aw catch hold o’ that young taistrel aw’ll tak th’ skin off him!”

“Hold thi din, gert softheead!  Onnybody to hear thi tawk, ’ud think tha’d gooan cleean wrang i’ thi heead!  Bless mi life! tha dosn’t think ‘at th’ child did it on purpose, does ta?  He wor nobbut tryin his best to catch a blue-bottle-fly, an it went into th’ winder whear be couldn’t raik it, soa he sammed up a teacup an flang it at it,—­nivver thinkin owt abaat th’ winder, becoss he knew ha tha hated sich things buzzin abaat thi heead; but whativver that child does it seems to be wrang.  Aw’d be shamed o’ misen to start grumblin abaat a bit ov a tupny-hawpny winder!”