Dorothy browt me mi clooas back o’ Tuesdy, an they luk’d ommost as gooid as new, an aw invited’ em all to ther drinkin’ for Fridy neet, an then aw went an bowt two pot dogs an a stag for Sam’s dowter, an aw wor luk’d on as th’ king oth fold.  It wor a varry little haase for abaat twenty fowk, but aw cleared all aght, an put tables ith middle an cheers raand th’ sides, an contrived raam for ’em all.  Aw dooant think yo ivver hed onny experience i’ cookin’ for yorsen, nivver name cookin’ for other fowk, but aw considered misen a varry gooid hand, an aw can assure yo when aw stewed them hens an rooasted th’ cock, an boiled some puttates, an made a pile o’ tooast, an some strong teah flavored wi rum, ’at it wor a set aght net to be despised.

All wor ready an promised for a success, an aw could see th’ wimmen bobbin’ aght o’ one door into another wi ther new caps on, an aw saw bi th’ clock ’at it nobbut wanted a quarter ov an haar befoor they’d be all thear, sea aw tuk a can an went to th’ pump for some clean watter, so as we could keep th’ kettle filled up, an aw left th’ door oppen.  Aw wornt aboon a minnit away, but as aw wor comin’ back, what should aw see but that tom-cat o’ Dorothy’s comin’ aght oth door wi abaat hawf a hen in his maath.  Away it ran hooam an me after it; net ’at aw cared soa mich abaat th’ loss oth mait, for aw knew we should hey enuff, but aw wor mad to think ‘at after all mi trouble to cook it aw should be served i’ sich a way.

Dorothy wor upstairs, an away it went to her, but aw didn’t foller, for awd net forgetten th’ bother awd been in at Sam’s; but wimmen’s all alike, they can nivver keep ther maath shut, an noa sooiner did shoo see it nor shoo set up a screeam an, ov coarse, that wor th’ signal for ivvery woman ith fold to fly aght, for they wor all set waitin’ for th’ time for ther drinkin’.  ‘Ger aght wi thee!  Tha nasty thief!’ shoo sed, an aw could hear her chasin’ it raand an raand, singin’ aght, ’Ha can ta fashion, tha nasty gooid-fer-nowt?  Awl hey thee hung for it befoor tha’rt a day older!’ Daanstairs it coom ageean, an aw oppen’d th’ door an ran it aght, an as aw foller’d it th’ wimmen rushed past me in a body an all cried aght at once, ’What’s he been dooin to thee, Dorothy?  Shame on him!’ Aw went into mi awn haase, an left Dorothy to mak what explanation shoo thowt best, for aw felt sewer aw should mak matters war if aw stopt.  Aw dooant know what shoo sed, but they sooin all coom in laffiin an tawkin, tho’ nah an then throwin’ aght a sly hint at Dorothy an me, but aw wor too thrang to tak mich noatice, an’ shoo’d moor sense.  As they wor all wed fowk but her an me, it wor agreed ’at shoo should sarve aght th’ teah, an’ awd to sarve th’ mait an stuff.  They made a gooid deal o’ fun, an th’ braan creeam helpt th’ teah daan famously, th’ tooast seem’d ommost to melt away, an th’ stewed hens didn’t last long, but th’ cock didn’t seem to be in as mich favor.  Noabdy wanted helpin’ twice, an as awd taen a deeal a’ pains to cook it aw felt rayther disappointed.  ‘Nan get on an mak a gooid drinkin’,’ aw says; ’does onnybody say a bit moor o’ this cock?’ But it wor all noa use, aw axd ’em an axd ’em wol aw wor fair stalled, an th moor aw tried to persuade’ em an th’ moor they laft.