Jimmy settled daan to his cobblin (for he reckoned to do a bit at that when he did ought), an’ he worked away varry weel for a bit, an’ Molly took a pride i’th’ garden aghtside an’ th’ haase inside, an’ they were varry comfortable.  But ther wor just an odd booan somewhear abaght Jim ‘at did’nt like wark, an’ aw think it must ‘ha’ been a wopper, for it used to stop all t’other ivery nah and then for two or three days together.  He liked to goa an’ sit i’th’ beershop opposite, an’ have a pint or two, an’ Molly knew it wor her bit o’ brass at wor gooin, for shoo said “he hardly haddled as mich sometimes as he cost i’ wax.”

One day he’d been rayther longer nor usual, an’ shoo wor just ready for him.

“Aw thowt tha used to tell me at it wornt th’ ale tha wanted, it wor me; but na it is’nt me ta wants, it’s the ale.”

“Why, woll a chap lives he con alter his mind, connot he?” said Jim.

“Oh! soa tha’s altered thi mind, has ta?  Tha’s noa need to tell me that, aw can see it, an’ aw’ve altered mine too, an’ aw’ve a gooid mind to pail my heead agean th’ jawm when aw think on it.”

“Why, lass, it’s a pity to spoil a gooid mind, but aw’st advise thi to tak thi cap off for fear o’ crushin it.”

“An’ if aw did crush it, whose brass wor it at bought it, aw should like to know?  Tha’s taen moor brass across th’ rooad this wick nor what ud ha bought booath a cap an a bonnet, an’ tha’rt staring across nah as if tha langed to be gooin agean.  What are ta starin at?”

“Nay nowt, but aw think ther’s a mule i’th’ garden,” said Jim.

“He’d hardly getten th’ words aght ov his maath, when Molly seizes th’ besom, an’ flies aght, saying, “It’s just what yo mun expect when folk come hooam hauf druffen, an’ leeav th’ gate oppen.”

“Whativer has th’ owd craytur up,” says Jim.  “Shoo surely doesn’t think aw mean ther wor a mule i’th’ garden?  Aw nobbut meant ther wor a bit ov a row i’th’ hoil; but aw’ll niver be trusted if shoo is’nt lukkin under th’ rhubub leaves, as if shoo thowt a mule could get thear, but shoo’ll be war mad at ther isn’t one nor what shoo wod ha been if shoo’d fun hauf a duzzen.”

Molly coom back in a awful temper.  “Soa tha thowt tha couldn’t do enuff to aggravate me but tha mun mak a fooil on me?”

“Why, wornt ther one?”

“Noa, ther worn’t, an’ tha knew that.”

“Ther wor summat ’at luk’d as faal as one, daatless, when tha wor thear.”

“Come, tha’s noa room to talk.  Aw think aw’m as handsom as thee, ony end up.  Folk may weel wonder what aw could see i’ thee, and aw niver should ha had thee if aw had’nt been varry cloise seeted.”

“Tha’rt booath cloise seeted and cloise fisted, aw think, and if tha wor cloiser maathed sometimes ther’d be less din.”

“Thear tha goaas agean.  Aw’ve spakken, have aw.  Aw’ll tell thi what it is, tha can’t bide to be tell’d o’ thi faults, but aw’m nooan gooin to be muzzled to suit thee.”