It’s nivver wise to be rackless naythur i’ word nor deed, for whativver yo plot an plan agean other fowk it’s ommost sewer to roll back on yorsens an’ trap yor tooas if it does nowt else; ’Fowk ‘at laik wi’ fire mun expect a burn.’  An soa all yo ’at intend to keep up Gunpaader plot munnot grummel if yo get warmed a bit.  But gunpaader plot isn’t th’ only plot ‘at gets browt to a finish this month; ther’s lots o’ plottin an’ planin besides that.  Ther’s monny a chap ’at’s been langin for a year or two to be made a taan caancillor ’at’s been havin all his friends to ther supper, an’ ‘at for th’ last month or two has been stoppin fowk ’at he’s met, an’ shakin hands wi ’em, an’ axin all abaat ha ther wives an’ childer are gettin on, tho’ he’s passed th’ same fowk monny a hundred times befoor an’ nivver spokken to ’em at all.  It’s all plottin.  A’a this little bit o’ pride!  A’a this desire to be summat thowt on!  Aw dooant know ha we should get on withaat it!  Ther’s a gooid deeal o’ califudge i’th’ world after all, but aw dooant think it does mich harm, for mooast fowk can see throo it.  But it allus maks me smile when aw goa to a ward meetin, an’ hear furst one an’ then another get up an’ thank a caancillor for dooin soa mich for ’em, an’ prayin ’at he’ll suffer hissen to be re-elected; when at th’ same time they know ’at he’s ready to fall ov his knees to beg on ’em to send him agean.  Well, aw dooant know why a chap shouldn’t be thanked for dooin that ’at’s a pleasure to hissen an’ a benefit to others!  It’s nobbut th’ same as me writin this, it suits me to write it, an’ it suits others to read it, yet aw think aw’m entitled to some thanks after all.

But one munnot expect to get all they’re entitled to, an’ its a jolly gooid job we dooant, for if we did ther’d be a lot on us ’at ud have to be burried at th’ public expense.  We’re nooan on us too gooid, but ’It’s niver too late to mend,’ an’ it’s niver too sooin to begin, soa nah ’at we’ve getten to th’ end ov another year, let us carefully reckon up an see ha we stand.  Aw fancy we shall all find ‘at ther’s lots o’ room for improvement yet, an’ ther’s nowt at yo can do ’at’s likely to give yo moor satisfaction nor to detarmine to do better for th’ future.  A chap’s allus awther better or war at th’ end o’th’ year nor what he wor at th’ beginnin, an aw’m sure iverybody’ll feel pleased to know at they’re all o’th’ mendin hand.  It’s a pity to think ivery time Christmas comes raand ’at ther’s soa mony fowk ’at will’nt be able to have a merry un.  Aw’m sooary it is soa, an’ aw wod help it if aw could.  Ther’s nubdy enjoys a bit ov a spree better nor aw do, but ther’s one thing aw dooant like, an that is to be pestered off my life booath at hooam an abroad wi fowk commin an sayin, ‘Aw wish yo a merry Christmas an’ a happy New Year,’ when all th’ time aw know weel enuff they wish nowt at sooart, but just come for what they can get.  Nah if sich-like wod nobbut come an’ say plain aght, ‘we come