’Well if it has to be done it must be done quickly.  If you will get a marriage license and a minister, I will endeavour to restore him to consciousness, so you had better be off.’

Off went old Stooansnatch, tho’ it wor nobbut four o’clock i’th’ mornin.

When he’d gooan, th’ doctor tell’d all ’at had happened.  Bessy begged hard to have it put off for a wick, but Joa tawk’d soa weel, an’ th’ doctor backed him i’ all he sed, wol at last shoo consented.

In abaat two haars, th’ old man coom back, an browt th’ license an’ th’ parson wi’ him.

‘Is he livin yet?’ he axed in a whisper.

‘Hush! yes, he still survives and is quite conscious,’ an’ withaat any moor to do he led’ em into th’ room an’ motioned th’ parson to waste noa time; an’ he walked up to th’ bedside an’ takkin hold o’ one o’ each o’ ther hands began his nomony, an’ wor varry sooin throo wi’ it, an’ pronounced ’em man an’ wife.

It wor a gooid job at Stooansnatch turned his back wol it wor gooin on, for if he hadn’t he mud ha smell’d a rat, an’ a big en too.

As sooin as it wor ovver th’ doctor went to Joa an’ axed him ha he felt.

‘Aw think awm gettin on gradely thank yo; ha’s mi fayther gettin on?’ he sed, in a voice as laad as if he wor hawkin his greens.

Th’ parson wor soa takken wol he let his book tummel, an owd Stooansnatch jumpt ommost aght ov his booits, an’ turned raand to see if it wor possible to be Joa ’at had spokken; an when he saw him sittin up, winking one e’e, an’ a grin all ovver his face, he luk’d at him for a minit an then he sed, ’Joa aw allus thowt thee a daycent sooart ov a lad, but aw niver gave thi credit for havin mich wit, but tha’s getten th’ best on me this time.  Tha’s played thi cards pratty weel for that lass, an’ tha hasn’t wasted mich time ovver th’ gam, but tha’s ommost brokken mi heart.’

‘Well, yo’ve ommost brokken my heead, soa we’re straight.’

’Tha thinks tha’s done summat clivver, but aw’ll fix yo all, for aw willn’t leave yo a hawpeny, noa net a hawpeny.’

‘Yo can keep all yor brass an’ welcome, an’ mich gooid may it do yo, aw’ve getten all yo had at aw hankered after, an soa nah aw’ll get up an’ tak her wi’ me, for shoo’s mine nah, an’ aw think that old donkey an’ me will be able to find her summat to ait, at any rate we’ll try.’

Joa jumpt up (for he wor varry little warse for his hurt,) an’ tellin Bessy to put on her duds prepared to leeave.

‘Well, Mr. Stooansnatch,’ sed th’ doctor, ’a weddin is better than a hangin after all, isn’t it?’

‘Hangin be hanged! yo’ve been just as deep i’th’ muck as they’ve been i’th’ mire, an’ if awd my way awd hang yo all.  But aw say, luk here, aw dooant want to be made a laffin-stock on, an soa if yo’ll promise niver to mention this affair, maybe aw shall do summat for’ em yet, an’ if anybody axes owt abaat it, say it wor done wi’ my consent.’