‘Gooan for a doctor; he thinks tha’rt killed, an’ he’s terrified aght ov his wits.’

’Well, if my heead worn’t pratty thick, aw should ha done sellin puttates.  But, Bessy, if aw come raand all reight will ta be mi wife?  Tell me that?’

‘Hold thi noise; tha munnot talk—­sithee ha thi heead’s bleedin.’

’Neer heed it!  My heart’ll bleed too if tha willn’t ha me;—­nah, lass, what says ta?’

‘Tha knows mi fayther’ll niver agree to it, soa what’s th’ use o’ talkin.’

‘But will ta agree to it if he does?  That’s what aw want to know?’

’If tha’ll nobbut hold thi noise aw’ll agree to owt;—­tha luks moor like burryin nor weddin.’

‘Well, that’s settled, an’ aw’ll tell thi ha aw con get top-side o’th’ old man.  Dunnot say a word abaat me havin come raand, an’ when th’ doctor comes aw’ll put him up to a thing.’

Just then th’ door oppen’d, an’ Stooansnatch an’ th’ doctor coom in.  Joa shut his een an’ tried to luk as deead as he could.  Th’ doctor felt his pulse, an’ luk’d at his heead, an’ sed, ’we must get this man to bed, it seems to me that his skull is fractured.’

‘Do yo think he’s likely to dee?’ axed Stooansnatch.

’Well, it’s very doubtful; it’s a bad case, but we must make the best of it, so help me to get him to bed.’

They all three tuk hold on him, an’ wi’ a deeal o’ trouble managed to get him into Bessy’s room, an’ to bed.  ‘Now then, get some brandy an’ some stickin plaister,—­Bessy can fetch it.’

‘Na, aw’ll fotch it; aw con get it cheaper,’ sed Stooansnatch.  An’ off he went, wonderin ha mich he could save aght o’th’ hauf craan Joa’d gien him.

As sooin as he’d gooan, Joa oppened his een, an’ raisin hissen up on his elbow an’ winkin at th’ doctor, he sed, ‘doctor, con yo keep a saycret?’

Th’ doctor wor soa capt wol he ommost fell into th’ assnuck, an’ withaat waitin for him to spaik, Joa sed, ’yo see aw’ve had a nasty knock, an aw mean to mak owd Stooansnatch pay for it.’

’Certainly!  Quite proper!  Sue him for L100 damages.  I’ll attend as a witness.’

‘But that isn’t th’ way aw want to mak him pay for it.  Aw dooan’t want his brass, aw want his dowter, an’ it’s becoss aw axed him for her ’at he crack’d mi heead.  Nah, if yo can nobbut mak him believe ’at this is a varry bad case, an’ freeten him wi’ makkin him believe ’at aw shall niver get better, aw think we can manage it.’

‘Capital! capital!’ sed th’ doctor, rubbin his hands wi’ glee (for he wor noa fonder o’ Stooansnatch nor th’ rest o’ fowk) ‘th’ very thing!  You can depend on me.  Ah! here he comes.’

Joa shut his een, an th’ doctor lained ovver him as if he wor examinin his heead, an’ Bessy stood wi’ her apron up to her face as if shoo wor cryin, but shoo wor laughin fit to split, for shoo could enjoy a joke at th’ owd man’s expense as weel as onybody.

Owd Stooansnatch coom in traidin of his tip tooas, holdin a roll o’ plaister i’ one hand an’ sixpenoth o’ brandy i’th’ tother.