Some chaps i’th’ village gate to hear abaat Joa’s drivin an’ fallin asleep, soa they thowt they’d have a bit ov a marlock on, an abaat a duzzen on’ em went to th’ Cemetary gates, an tho’ it wor dark they faand th’ heears an’ th’ horse just as it had been drawn up, and Joa fast asleep.  One on ’em at had an old white hat changed it varry gently for Joa’s black ‘en, an’ then they hid thersen at tother side o’th’ wall.  One on ’em set up a whistle at wakkened Joa, an’ as sooin as he began to rub his een an’ wonder whear he wor, they begun singin th’ Old Hundred.  “Bith’ heart!” he said, “they tell’d me at tha’d a varry hard deeath Nancy, an’ it seems tha’rt having a varry hard burrin.  Aw declare awve been asleep, an’ its as dark as a booit.  Awm hauf starved stiff wi caarin here, but aw should think they’ll nooan be long nah, for they sewerly dooant mean to stop thear singin all th’ neet.”  Th’ chaps waited vary still for a while wol he began grumblin agean.  “Aw dooant see ony use i’me caarin here ony longer.  Ther’ll nubdy want to ride inside.  Aw may as weel be off hooam.”  Just then th’ chaps sang another verse, an’ he thowt he’d better stop a bit longer, soa he put up his coit collar to keep th’ wind aght of his neck, an’ wor sooin fast asleep agean.  As sooin as they fun it aght they varry quitely tuk th’ horse aght o’th’ shafts an’ turned it into a field cloise by, an’ lifted th’ gate off th’ hinges an’ propt it up between th’ shafts asteead o’th’ horse, an’ hung th’ harness ovver it; then they teed th’ appron strings fast soa as he could’nt get off his seeat, an’ waited wol he wakkened agean.  They hadn’t long to wait before he gave a gape or two, an’ then he sed, “Awm nooan baan to caar here ony longer!  Aw nobbut agreed to come to th’ burrin, aw didn’t bargain to stop wol they lettered th’ gravestooan!  Gee up!” An’ he started floggin th’ horse for owt he knew, but it nivver stirred.  “Ger on wi’ thi! or else awl bury thee an’ all!” an’ he slashed away wi’ th’ whip, but th’ heears nivver moved.  Next he tried to get daan to see if he could leead it, but he couldn’t lause th’ appron at wor across his legs, soa he had to creep aght as he could an’ climb onto th’ top, an’ as th’ top wor smooth an’ polished he slipt off, an’ sat daan ith’ middle o’th’ rooad wi’ sich a bang at if he worn’t wakkened befoor ther wor noa fear on him bein’ asleep after that.

“Tha’rt a bigger fooil nor aw tuk thi for Joa,” he said to hissen, as he sam’d hissen up, “aw thowt tha’d sense enuff to tak thi time an’ net come off th’ top ov a thing like that i’ sich a hurry.  It ommost knockt th’ wind aght o’ me, an’ if aw dooant knock th’ wind aght o’ that horse awl see.”  It wor nobbut leet enuff to see th’ glimmer oth’ harness, tho’ th’ mooin wor just risin, an’ he laid his whip on wi’ a vengence, but as it did’nt offer to stir he went up to it.  “What’s th’ matter wi’ thi?” an’ he put aght his hand to find it.  “Well, awl be shot!  Tha worn’t mich when we set off, but tha seems to ha gooan to nowt!  Aw could caant thi ribs befoor, but aw can feel ’em nah.  Ther’s nowt left but a skeleton!”