To mak matters war, Testy wor varry restless, an’ kept wanderin abaaght, an’ as ther wor noa gate to th’ croft, Chairley had to follow him for feeard on him gettin’ away.  In a while it began to be rayther hard wark, he darn’t let t’kite goa, an’ ther wor nowt handy to tee it too, soa he thowt his best plan ’ud be to pull it in, but just then a thowt struck him, as he saw Testy trottin’ off whiskin his tail, an’ he went after him.  As sooin as he’d catched him, he teed his kite band to th’ donkey’s tail, sayin’ as he did soa, “Nah aw can watch yo booath at once.”  But yo shud a seen that donkey!  At first he ran backards for abaaght a dozzen yards, then he shot aght his heels wi’ twenty donkey paar; but it wor noa use tryin’ to kick that kite, he cud just as easy ha’ kicked t’mooin.  He tried to turn raand, but that ommost twisted his tail off, then he planted his feet firmly i’ t’graand, wi his tail stickkin’ straight aght like a brooish stail, an’ luk’d at Chairley, as if for some explanation.

“Well, hah dusta like kite flyin’, Testy? tha’d a rooar’d thi ’een up afooar tha’d thowt a that.  It’s plain to be seen at tha connot run away wi’ that kite, an’ th’ kite connot flyaway wi’ thee, soa awl leeave yo an’ goa get a bit a dinner.”

He worn’t long away, but when he coom back, noa kite cud he see, but theear wor Testy stud just as he’d left him.  As Chairley walked to him he nivver sturd, but, fancy his surprise when he saw at th’ donkey’s tail wor missin’.  It had dissolved partnership wi’ Testy an’ gooan to realms aboon.  Maybe it’ll fessen it sen on to some little star an’ mak a comet on’t.

Chairley an Testy stud lukkin’ at one another for a gooid five minnits, an’ at last Chairley sed, “Well Testy, tha caan’t blame me; aw dooant think thi appearance is mich improved, but still, tha must admit at tha arn’t as mich of a donkey nah as tha wor when aw gate tha.  It seems to me we’d better pairt, for we dooan’t get on soa weel together; awl sell mi stock an’t panniers, an’ thee an ivverything; aw shall ha’ to sell’ em wholesale though, for aw cannot re-tail thee.  But awl promise tha one thing, whenivver aw fly a kite ageean, awl remember mi donkey’s tail.”

Just then, Testy’s knees begun to tremmle, his body rock’d from side to side; he luk’d at Chairley as mich as to say, “assassin,” an rowled ovver brokkenhearted; an’, withaght a struggle, he breathed his last sigh to th’ tune of “Good bye, Chairley, when aw’m away, dunnot forget your Testimonial.”

Five Paand Nooat.

Aw remember th’ first time at aw iver had a five paand nooat, an’ awm like as if aw can see it yet.  It worn’t a new en, it wor one ’at had gooan throo a gooid monny hands,—­it wor soft an’ silky to th’ touch, an’ it wor yeller wi age, an’ th’ edges wor riven a bit, an it had a split up th’ middle, whear it had been cut i’ two at some time an’ stuck together agean wi a bit o’ postage stamp paper.  Aw remember at that time aw used to sleep