Chairley gate hooam, an’ after stablin’ Testy an’ makkin him cumfortable, he gave him a bit o’ extra corn to mak him lively next mornin’.  He left t’stable sayin, “Well Testy, aw nivver thowt a makkin a war-horse aght o’ thee, tho’ awve seen war horses nor thee; but to morn tha’ll have to be a chairger, an’ if tha’rt hauf as gooid a chairger as t’chap wor at sell’d thi to th’ Superintendent, tha’ll doo to practiss on.”

T’next mornin’ Chairley gate his two muskets, an havin’ teed one on th’ top o’ each pannier, he maanted Testy, an’ rooad him to a croft at back o’ th’ haase.

“Nah,” he says to hissen, “hah can aw pull these triggers when aw’m set up here?  It caan’t be done; but if aw lig on my belly on th’ top of his back, aw can raich ’em then, an that’ll be a better position to escape th’ enemy.”  Soa he ligg’d his full length o’ Testy’s back, an tuk hold o’ booath muskets wi’ his fingers on th’ triggers.  “Nah Testy, see tha behaves thisen’ for this may be a turnin’ point i’ thy life as weel as mine.  Tha’ll ha’ to get used to th’ smell o’ paather, same as me.  Nah for it,” he sed, an’ he shut his een an’ whisper’d, “one, two, three—­off!” He pooled booath triggers, booath muskets went off, an’ Chairley went off at th’ same time, an’ soa did one o’ Testy’s ears, an’ when Chairley lukk’d up Testy wor stanin’ on his fore legs, sparrin’ away wi’ his heels, as lively as yo’d wish to see.  Chairley maniged to sam hissen together, an’ findin’ at he worn’t killed, he went to mak friends ageean wi’ Testy; an’ if ivver ther wor two disconsolate lukkin’ jackasses i’ this world, it wor them two.

“Well, this is a bonny come off,” he sed, “tha’rt a bigger donkey nor aw tuk thi for.  Had ta noa mooar sense nor to put thi ear i’th’ front ova gun.  Tha cud a heeard it goa off withaat lizenin’ soa clois?

“Well, aw wish tha wor nicely aght o’ mi hands.  What to do wi thi nah aw connot tell, unless aw cut off t’other ear to match, an’ tee a bunch o’ horsehair to thi tail an’ see if aw connot mak a galloway aght on thi; an’ if aw doo that, aw expect tha willn’t be able to keep thi maath shut, an’ that voice o’ thine ’ll let ivvery body know.  But hahivver aw mun try an’ bandage that heead o’ thine up an’ then see what aw can do, for ther’ll be noa hawkin’ to-day, an’ noa mooar hartillery practiss.”

Chairley weshed th’ donkey’s heead, an’ put some sauve on to his ear, an’ teed it up as weel as he cud, an’ then turned him inta th’ croft an’ sat daan wonderin’ hah to spend th’ day.

Nah ther wor nowt Chairley wor fonder on nor kite flyin’, an’ as he had a kite ommost as big as hissen, he thowt he mud as weel amuse hissen a bit; soa he fotched it, an’ befooar monny minnits it wor sailin’ away up i’th’ air.  He kept givin’ it mooar band wol it wor ommost aght o’ seet, an’ beein’ a breezy day, it pooled soa hard at he cud hardly hold it.