should they see but a lot o’ furniture aghtside, an all th’ appearances ov another flittin.  “What’s up nah, Clarkson?” sed Broddington.  “Nay, aw dooant know,” he sed, “but it seems to me ‘at th’ wife’s sellin up, an shoo’s sed shoo wod do monny a time; but awl put a stop to that, an sharply too.”  Away he went in a reglar tiff, an wanted to know who’d fotch’d his stuff aght o’ th’ haase, an sed he’d let’ em see who wor th’ maister thear.  When his wife coom shoo wor fair maddled, an wanted to know what wor up.  “Who’s tell’d thee to sell th’ furniture,” he sed.  “Sell th’ furniture!  Who is selling th’ furniture, fooil!  It’s nobbut me ’at had it taen aght to cleean, becoss aw thowt tha wor off for th’ day, an aw thowt awd do it before tha come back, sea as tha wodn’t be put abaat wi th’ bustle.”  “O, that’s all reight,” he sed.  “Aw see nah; aw hardly thowt tha’d do as ill as that, though tha wor awful crusty this mornin; but ther’s Broddington an th’ policeman aghtside ’at want to come in an explain matters a bit.”  “Dooant bring’ em here,” shoo sed, “tha’s been wi them to oft; it’s sich like as them ’at’s leeadin thee off.”

“Well, we’d better have ’em in aw think, an hear what they’ve to say,” he sed.  Soa they went in, an when they’d tell’d th’ tale shoo laff’d as hard as any on ’em, for shoo worn’t a bad bottom’d woman though she had a tongue; soa after makkin all things straight shoo ax’d’ em to have a drop o’ summat, which they had, an as shoo sed, “Drink o’ ony sooart wor a thing ‘at shoo seldom or iver touched, though th’ doctors had ordered it for her, time after time, yet considerin ’at Broddington had missed his cheap trip, an ’at all matters had been put to reights, shoo made hersen a drop o’ whisky an hot watter, an as they sat tawkin an smookin they coom to th’ conclusion ’at it wor nivver safe to judge bi appearances.  Clarkson wor soa pleased at his wite takkin it i’ sich a philosophical way, wol he bowt her a new gaan, an when th’ naybors saw her turn aght in it th’ next Sunday, they nodded an smiled at her as if they could like to put her into ther pockets, but as sooin as shoo’d turned her back they curl’d ther nooas an turned up th’ whites o’ ther eyes, an sed, in a varry mysterious way, “It’ll do woll it lasts.”

A’a dear I tak my advice an nivver trust to appearances.

Mi First Testimonial.

Young Gawthorp lived at t’Cat-i-t’well; some on yo may know him, he used to come to Halifax twice i’ th’ wick to buy his greens and stuff to hawk, an’ he allus call’d at t’Tabor to get a pint as he went hooam.

Nah Chairley (his mother had kursen’d him Chairley becoss shoo wor sittin in a chair th’ furst time shoo saw him); well, Chairley worn’t like some country hawbucks at fancied’ coss he sell’d puttates an turnips, ‘at he needed no mooar knowledge nor to be able to tell th’ difference between a parsnip an’ a manglewurzell.  Noa, Chairley had an inquirin’ mind, an’ if it hadn’t been at one leg wor shorter nor t’other, he’d a been a sowdger, for his heart wor as brave as any greengrocer’s heart cud be expected to be.