“Nah, Clarkson,” sed his wife, sittin up i’ bed, “tell me th’ truth at once; has ta getten that whisky honestly or net?  If tha hasn’t say so, an then awst know what to expect.  Aw allus sed ‘at tha’d bring me an th’ childer to some end if this rakin aght ov a neet went on.  A’a ’at ivver aw should ha lived to see this day!” An then shoo began rockin hersen backards an forrads, an moppin up her tears wi th’ corner oth sheet.

Yo may guess what a din th’ policeman made when it wakkened Broddington ‘at lived six or eight doors off, an aght o’ ommust ivvery winder ith row ther wor neetcaps bobbin in an aght, an some on ’em shook ther heeads an sed, “It’s nobbut what aw expected; awve thowt many a time ’at if Clarkson could afford to dress his wife ’i silks an satins, ’at it didn’t all come aght o’ th’ puttaty trade,” an after that feelin remark they went back to bed.

Broddington gate up an dressed an went daan stairs to see what wor up.  All at once he bethowt him abaat th’ policeman, an th’ fact a’ th’ wrang sign being ovver th’ door, an he saw at once what a mistak had been made.  “Well, it can’t be helped,” he sed, “but poor Clarkson ’ll catch it aw’ll bet.”  Soa he went daan an oppened th’ door just at th’ same time at Clarkson wor comin aght.  When th’ policeman saw Clarkson come aght an Broddington abaat twenty yards off, he luk’d a trifle soft, an after starin furst at one an then at t’other, he gave vent to his astonishment bi sarin, “Blow me tight!” Just then Mrs. Clarkson’s heead show’d aght o’ th’ chamber winder, “O, it’s all varry fine,” shoo sed, “aw see ha it is; it’s a made up doo throo th’ beginin to th’ endin; but awl have an alteration as sure as my name’s Liddy:”  After sayin this shoo popt back agean an went to bed, noa daat thinkin ’at shoo wor a varry ill used woman.  As matters had getten to this pitch, Broddington tuk th’ policeman an’ Clarkson on to his haase, an after a gooid deeal a explanation, ivery body seem’d to be satisfied, an Broddington browt aght a bottle an put it i’ th’ middle o’ th’ table an invited ’em to help thersen.  They did, an readily too, for th’ policeman worn’t a teetotaler, (an ther’s summat abaat that ’at aw could nivver understand, for teetotal lecterers tell us ‘at if all th’ world wor teetotal ’at we should have noa murders, noa robberies, noa rows, all wod be peace an happiness an th’ millenium be ushered in, an yet aw nivver met a teetotal policeman, tho ther may be sich like things, th’ same as aw’ve heeard on ther bein white blackburds, an we know ‘at policemen are th’ varry chaps ‘at have to keep th’ peace.)

Well, glass followed glass, an Broddington decided net to set off at all, but to spend a friendly haar wi ’em, as he’d been th’ cause ov a deeal o’ bother, an he thowt th’ best thing he could do wod be to apologize like a man an set things straight agean.  Soa they all turned aght together at about a quarter to ten to goa to Clarkson’s, but when they gate aght o’ th’ door what