Now I had to seek for eligible premises.  I sauntered round the camp to alight upon a tiny vacant building.  As it appeared to have no owner, and was fulfilling no useful purpose I entered into possession.  Directly I had installed myself the authorities came along and unceremoniously ejected me, bag and baggage.  As soon as their backs were turned I re-entered into occupation.  I was thrown out a second time, but still as resolutely determined as ever to continue my project I cast around and ultimately found an empty kiosk, standing forlorn and neglected, a silent memory of the brisk racing days at Ruhleben in pre-war times.  I installed myself therein, not caring two straws whether the authorities endeavoured to turn me out or not.  They would have to smash the place over my head before they evicted me this time, but they were scarcely likely to proceed to such extreme measures seeing that they would have had to break up their own property.

Numerous jealous individuals attempted to eject me time after time but I sat tight.  I remember one tender and amiable official who endeavoured to convince me that the kiosk and other similar buildings were under his charge, and that he was responsible for them.  As he narrated the situation I observed that he kept the open palm of his hand extended before me.  When he found this broad hint to be of no avail he ordered me out of the building.  Turning to him I suggested, in as suave a voice as I could command, that he should accompany me to the “Wachter” to ascertain the extent of his responsibilities and to have the matter thrashed out once and for all.  Needless to say he declined this invitation, protesting that it was unnecessary.  He invited me to retain occupation of the kiosk.  My bluff completely outwitted the official in question, while I achieved my end for once without recourse to bribery and corruption of the official Teuton mind.

Several subsequent attempts were made to coax me out of my tenancy, but I may say that in sticking to the building I played the Germans at their own game.  When the guard came up and authoritatively demanded by what manner of right or permission I had taken possession of the kiosk I politely referred him to a certain officer in the camp.  When the latter, upon receiving the complaint, interrogated me in a similar vein, I referred him to another official.  When this third individual appeared upon the scene I switched him off to another officer.  By playing off the officials one against the other in this manner I precipitated such a tangle among them that no single official could say whether he had or had not given me permission.  While these tactics were being pursued I was gaining the valuable time I desired, and took the opportunity to entrench myself firmly in my position.  The outcome was that when finally the matter had been trotted through the Ruhleben German Circumlocution Office, and my eviction was officially sealed, I warded off the fate by announcing that I was overwhelmed with engraving orders for the military officers of the camp.  It was a desperate bluff, but it succeeded.  Officialdom apparently decided that I was better left alone, so I suffered no further molestation.