The proprietor trotted out an elaborate catalogue.  He thought I had come to order a coffin!  Being arrayed in a frock coat and somewhat burnished up, I suppose I had the appearance of a possible customer.  I had led him to believe that I could not speak, but now I assured him that my real infirmity was very acute stammering.  I glanced through the catalogue carefully so as to arouse no suspicions, to alight upon a specimen of the handicraft which cost 1,000 marks—­L50—­and with apparent effort stuttered that I would consult my brother upon the matter.  I left the shop with my heart in my mouth, but gaining the street in safety, I put as great a distance between the shop and myself as I could.

I offered my services indiscriminately to a boot-maker, grocer, confectioner—­in fact I can scarcely recall what trade I did not strive to enter, but always in vain.  Finally I entered a fashionable hairdresser’s establishment.  By signs and with considerable labour I finally made my mission known, and at last ascertained that an assistant was required, and I could present myself the following morning.  I went off treading on air, absolutely delighted with my success.  In fact I was so elated as to omit to notice that this shop was in one of the three streets forming a triangle and an island in a “Y” formed by the two main thoroughfares.

The next morning I returned to the city with my solitary razor in my pocket—­I had been instructed to bring my own kit.  I entered the shop but was decidedly puzzled at the sight of strange faces.  This I attributed to the rush which was prevailing having brought men to the front whom I had not seen the day before.  I proffered my razor to explain that I had come to start work as arranged.  The assistant took it, and told me it would be ready on the following morning.  He thought I wanted it to be ground and set!  Not being able to make myself understood I went outside, looked at the facia, and found I had gone to the wrong address.  The shop for which I had been engaged was on the other side of the triangle.  I hurried in, to be received with a scowl by the proprietor, who pointed significantly to the clock to intimate that I was very late.

However, the proprietor donned his hat and coat and took me to another shop in a distant part of the city.  It was one of his branches.  I was to be employed here, but I knew no more about hair-dressing than about the fourth dimension.  Still I thought I could fulfil the role of lather-boy very effectively.

To my consternation, after lathering one or two customers, I was ordered to complete the shaving operation.  My heart thumped because I wondered how the unfortunate German client would fare in my unskilled hands.  Bracing myself up I completed the task without a hitch, although I do not think the customer looked any better after I had finished with him than he did before.

But the succeeding customer encountered disaster.  The razor made a slip, inflicting a terrible gash in the man’s ear.