“Well, I haven’t,” I said.  “Not that these clothes of mine will lead anyone to mistake me for a capitalist.  But, so far as lunch goes, hadn’t we better be killed by a Red bomb at the Fitz than by tripe in Bermondsey?”

Stuttfield could not but admit the sense of this, so we started out.

It is widely recognised that Flag Days, however admirable their objects, have been a little overdone.  But it was sheer bad luck that brought Stuttfield face to face with a flag-seller just as we were entering the Fitz.  She came at him with a determined aspect and began “The Red Cr——­”

It was enough.  Poor Stuttfield was across the pavement and into a taxi before I could stop him.  There was nothing for me to do but follow him.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Waterloo,” he answered through blanched lips.  I could get nothing more from him.

At Waterloo he sprang out, leaving me to pay the cab, and disappeared into the station.  I followed as quickly as I could, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Where would he go to hide from the Reds?” I asked myself.  Suddenly I had an idea about his destination.

I was right.  In the foremost carriage I found him.  I tried to persuade him to come out, but he clung to the rack.  So I left him.  I have not seen him since.

I hope he feels safe in the Isle of Wight.

* * * * *

    “You can burn your slack cook in oven in our ——­
    Grate.”—­Advt. in Daily Paper.

But now that the coal strike is over we shall try to put up with our cook a little longer.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Our Reverend Spoonerist (calling at the Deanery). “IS THE BEAN DIZZY?”]

* * * * *

    “WALLASEY’S LOW FIGURE.

    POPULATION JUMP—­FROM 21,192 TO 99,493 IN 28 DAYS.”

    Liverpool Paper.

We do not know why this should be described as a “low figure.”  To us it seems remarkably good going.

* * * * *

    “The weather forecast for Sheffield and district for the next
    twenty-four years is as follows:—­

    Wind southerly, light, freshening later; cloudy or overcast;
    probably some rain later; visibility indifferent to fair;
    mild.”

    Yorkshire Paper.

It is hoped however that some improvement may be shown in 1945.

* * * * *

Puck’s Record Eclipsed.

    “For five minutes I was in the Mercantile Marine and the Navy. 
    During these five minutes I made a complete circuit of the
    globe.”—­Letter in Welsh Paper.

* * * * *

    “The pruning-fork is being applied in order to bring the
    staff within the capacity of the accommodation.”—­Provincial
    Paper.