“Darling,” sobbed Cecilia, “I am trying—­please—­if only you would take that piece of soot off your nose—­” She dabbed her eyes and wept helplessly.

John rubbed his nose quickly and walked to the door.

“If you want my opinion of dancing,” he said bitterly, “I think it’s a low pagan habit.”

“‘Twinkle, twinkle, little star,’” sang Margery.

“Bah!” said John, and banged the door.

* * * * *

THE NEW UTOPIA.

[Suggested by Mr. J. H. THOMAS’S book, just out, with a Red Flag on the wrapper.]

  O England, with what joy I hail
    The master-hand that calms and cools
  In THOMAS’S entrancing tale,
        When Labour Rules.

  There will be no more serfs and slaves;
    There will be no more feudal fools;
  The KING may stay, if he behaves,
          When Labour rules.

  Workers, in Downing Street installed,
    Will never think of downing tools;
  Strikes clearly never will be called
          When Labour rules.

  The hand of brotherhood that knits
    At present Tom and Dick with Jules
  Will be extended to good Fritz,
          When Labour rules.

  The vile capitalistic crew
    Of human vampires, sharks and ghouls
  Will vanish in the boundless blue
          When Labour rules.

  Our children will be standardized
    In psycho-analytic schools,
  And brains completely equalized
          When Labour rules.

  O Paradise!  O frabjous day! 
    When ’neath the flag of flaming gules
  Labour shall hold unchallenged sway—­
          When THOMAS rules.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  FOLLOWING THE ENORMOUS SUCCESS OF THE DAILY MAIL HAT—­

—­WE LOOK FORWARD ANXIOUSLY TO THE TIMES CRAVAT—­

—­THE TELEGRAPH COAT—­

—­THE CHRONICLE QUILTED BAGS

—­THE HERALD PATENT SABOTS.

STUDY OF AN IMPARTIAL READER.

=MANNERS AND MODES.=]

* * * * *

=GENF AND THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS.=

“Genf,” like “Geneve,” is the Swiss for “Geneva.”  It was selected, nearly two years ago, as the seat of the League of Nations.  In a few days the League arrives; and I doubt if any person, firm, company, corporation or league, having provided itself with a seat, ever waited so long before it came and sat upon it.

You will remember a learned treatise of mine in these pages on the subject of Lucerne, written in August last, when our PRIME MINISTER came and sat there.  I make my living by writing up the towns of Switzerland as one by one they get sat on.  As there are not more than half-a-dozen eligible towns in Switzerland, and as we shall have exhausted two of them in less than half a year, the living I make is a precarious one; in other words I shall soon be dead.  Well, well!  A short life and a merry one, say I. You must admit a touch of subtle merriment in that word “Genf.”