Deprived of her mother by an early death, alone in the house of a father where disorder was the consequence of a second amour, melancholy gained possession of her mind, though it did not overcome it.  She became more collected and reserved, in order to strengthen her feelings against isolation and misfortune.  The perusal of the Heloise of Rousseau, which was lent to her about that time, made on her heart the same impression that Plutarch had made on her mind.  Plutarch had shown her liberty; Rousseau made her dream of happiness:  the one fortified, the other weakened her.  She found the earnest desire of pouring forth her feelings.  Melancholy was her rigid muse.  She began to write, in order to console herself in the nurture of her own thoughts.  Without any intention of becoming an authoress, she acquired by these solitary trials that eloquence with which she subsequently animated her friends.

IX.

Thus gradually ripened this patient and resolute mind, working on towards its destiny, when she believed she had found the man of the olden time of whom she had so long dreamed.  This man was Roland de la Platiere.

He was introduced to her by one of her early friends, married at Amiens, where Roland then carried on the functions of inspector of manufactures.  “You will receive this letter,” wrote her friend, “by the hand of the philosopher of whom I have spoken to you already, M. Roland, an enlightened man, of antique manners; without reproach, except for his passion for the ancients, his contempt of his age, and his too high estimation of his own virtue.  This portrait,” she adds, “was just and well depicted.  I saw a man nearly fifty years of age, tall, careless in his attitude, with that kind of awkwardness which a solitary life always produces; but his manners were easy and winning, and without possessing the elegance of the world, they united the politeness of the well-bred man to the seriousness of the philosopher.  He was very thin, with a complexion much tanned; his brow, already covered by very little hair, and very broad, did not detract from his regular but unattractive features.  He had, however, a pleasing smile, and his features an animated play, which gave them a totally different appearance when he was excited in speaking or listening.  His voice was manly, his mode of speech brief, like a man with shortened breath; his conversation, full of matter, because his head was full of ideas, occupied the mind more than it flattered the ear.  His language was sometimes striking, but harsh and inharmonious.  This charm of the voice is a gift very rare, and most powerful over the senses,” she adds, “and does not merely depend on the quality of the sound, but equally upon that delicate sensibility which varies the expression by modifying the accent.”  This is enough to assure us that Roland had not this charming gift.

X.