If the female of the house wants to sew a little, she don’t have to wear out her own vital powers a-runnin’ that sewin’ machine—­no; electricity jest runs it for her smooth as a dollar.

If she wants to sweep her floor, does she have to wear out her own elbows?  No, indeed; electricity jest sweeps it for her clean as a pin.

Oh, what a house! what a house!

Josiah of course wuz rampant with idees of havin’ our house run jest like it.

He thought mebby he could run it by horse power or by wind.

“But,” I sez, “I guess the old mair has enough on her hands without washin’ dishes and cookin’.”

He see it wuzn’t feasible.

“But,” sez he, “I believe I could run it by wind.  Don’t you know what wind storms we have in Jonesville?”

And I sez, “You won’t catch me a-sewin’ by it, a-blowin’ me away one minute, and then stoppin’ stun-still the next;” and sez I, “How could we be elevated by it? blow us half way upstairs, and then go down, and drop us.  We shouldn’t live through it a week, even if you could git the machinery a-runnin’.”

“Wall,” sez he, with a wise, shrewd look, “as fur as the elevator is concerned, I believe I could fix that on a endless chain—­keep it a-runnin’ all the time, sunthin’ like perpetual motion.”

“How could we git on it?” sez I coldly.

“Catch on,” sez he; “it would be worth everything to both on us to make us spry and limber-jinted.”

“Oh, shaw!” sez I; “your idees are luny—­luny as can be; it has got to go by electricity.”

“Wall,” sez he, “I never see any sharper lightnin’ than we have to Jonesville.  I believe I could git the machinery all rigged up, and catch lightnin’ enough to run it.  I mean to try, anyway.”

“Wall,” sez I, “I guess that you won’t want to be elevated by lightnin’ more’n once; I guess that that would be pretty apt to end your experiments.”

“Oh, wall,” sez he, “break it up!  I never in my hull life tried to do sunthin’ remarkable and noteworthy but what you put a drag on to me.”

Sez I, “I have saved your life, Josiah Allen, time and agin, to say nothin’ of my own.”

He wuz mad, but I drawed his attention off onto a ocean cable, and asked him to explain it to me how the news went; and he wuz happy once more—­happier than I wuz by fur.  I wuz wretched, and had got myself into a job of weariness onspeakable and confusion, etc., and so forth.

But to such immense sacrifices will a woman’s love lead her.

[Illustration:  He wuz happy once more.]

I could not brook his dallyin’ with lightnin’ at his age or to have it brung into our house in a raw state.

Josiah wuz dretful impressed with a big post completely covered with red, white, and blue globes, and all other colors, and at the top it branched out into four posts, extendin’ towards the corners of the ceilin’.

A spark of electricity starts at the base of the post, and steadily works its way up.  It lights the red, then the white, and then the blue, and etc., and then it goes on and lights the four branches until it gits to the end, and then it lights up a big ball.