And sez I with a shudder, and a skairful look onto me, “I can’t bear to think of the contingency to not had Jonesville and Chicago discovered, to say nothin’ of the rest of the World.

“But,” sez I, “my anxiety to put myself right in your eyes has runaway with my politeness.”  Sez I, “How is all your folks?” Sez I, “How is little Alphonso?  We think a sight of that boy here, and his Ma.  She’s a-bringin’ him up first rate, and you tell her that I think so.  It will encourage her.

“And how is your Ma?” sez I; and then I kinder backed out polite from that subject, and sez I, “I dare presoom to say that she has her good qualities; and mebby, like all the rest of the world, she has her drawbacks.”

And then a thought come onto me that made me blush with shame and mortification, and sez I, “I hain’t said a word about your husband.”  Sez I, “I have said that I would pay particular attention to that man if I come in sight on him, and here I be, jest like the rest of America, not payin’ him the attention that I ort, and leavin’ him a-standin’ up behind you, as usual.

“How is Antoine?” sez I.

She said that “He was very well.”

“Wall,” sez I, “I am glad on’t; from everything that America and I can learn of him he is a good feller—­a manly, good-appearin’, good-actin’ young man.

“And America and I wish you both dretful well—­you and Spain.  We think dretful well of all of you; and now,” sez I, with some stateliness, “I am a-goin’ to withdraw myself, and not tire you out any more.”

And so we shook hands cordial, and said good-bye, and I proceeded to withdraw myself, and I wuz jest a-backin’ off, as I make a practice of doin’ in my interviews with Royalty, when Duty gin me a sharp hunch in my left side, and I had to lock arms with her, and approach the Infanty agin on a delicate subject.

I hated to, but I had to.

Sez I, “Ulaley, I want you to forgive me for it if you feel hurt, but there is one subject that I feel as if I want to tackle you on.”

Sez I, “You’ve acted like a perfect lady, and a sampler of all womanly and royal graces, ever sence you come over here a-visitin’, good enough to frame,” sez I, “and hang up in our heart of hearts.

“And there hain’t but one fault that I have got to find with you, and I want to tell you plain and serious, jest as I’d love to have your folks tell Tirzah Ann if she should go over to Spain to represent Jonesville—­

“I want to say, jest as kind as I can say, that if I wuz in your place I wouldn’t smoke so much.

“I want to tell you that if my girl, Tirzah Ann, should ever go to Spain under the circumstances I speak on, and should light up her pipe in the Escurial, I should want you to put it out for her.

“I hate to have you smoke, Ulaley—­I hate to like a dog.  Of course,” sez I, in reasonable axents, “if you wanted to smoke a little mullen or catnip for the tizik, I wouldn’t mind it; but cigaretts are dretful onhealthy, and I’m afraid that they will undermind your constitution.  And I think too much on you, Ulaley, to want you underminded.”