Good land!  I guess I won’t boast any more.

Wall, seein’ that I am in sunthin’ of a hurry, I will let it go, and mebby if I should go over it agin I should lie the other way.

Good land! good land! what a world this is, and with all your care and watchfulness, how hard it is to keep walkin’ right along, in Injun file, along the narrer rope walk of megumness and exact truth.

But I am a-eppisodin’, and to resoom.

Wall, as I said, we didn’t git home till pitch dark, and then I drempt of fish all night, and eels, and alligators, and such.  It wuz tegus.

[Illustration:  I drempt of fish all night.]

The next mornin’ Josiah Allen met me all riz up with a new idee.

He had been out to buy a new pair of suspenders, his havin’ gin out the day before; and he come to our room, where I wuz calmly settin’ a-bastin’ in some clean cotton lace into the sleeves of my alpaca dress.

And sez he right out abrup, with no preamble, “Samantha, less go down to the Fair Ground in a whale.”

“In a whale?” sez I; “are you a loonatick, or what duz ail you, to try to make a pair of Jonahses of us at our age?”

“Wall,” sez he, “they have ’em here to carry folks down to the Fair, I know, for I hearn it straight, and I should think we wuz jest the right age to go as easy as possible, and try experiments.”

“Wall,” sez I firmly, “I hain’t a-goin’ to try no such experiment as that.  If the Lord called me to tackle a whale, I would tackle it, but I hain’t had no callin’, and I hain’t goin’ to try to ride out in no whale.”

“I’m a-callin’ you,” sez he.

“Wall,” sez I dryly, “you hain’t the Deity—­no, indeed, fur from it.”

“Wall,” sez he, “I’d love to go, Samantha.  What a glorious piece of news to carry back to Jonesville, that we rid out in a whale.  In the old Jonesville meetin’-house now, when Elder Minkley is a-preachin’ on Jonah—­and you know he trots him out a dozen times a year as a warnin’—­how you and I could lift up our heads and tost ’em, and how the necks of the Jonesvillians would be craned round to look at us—­we two, who had rid out in a whale—­we had been right there, and knew how it wuz.”

“I don’t want to show off,” sez I, “and I don’t want any necks craned or tosted on account of my gettin’ into a whale and ridin’ it;” and then I sez, “Good land! what won’t Chicago do next?”

And I added, “It don’t surprise me a mite; it hain’t no more of a wonder than lots of things I have seen here.  I might a known if Chicago had sot its mind on havin’ a whale to transport folks to the World’s Fair she’d a done it, but I won’t tackle the job.”

“There it is,” sez he gloomily, “I never make arrangements to distinguish myself and make a name, but you must break it up.  I had lotted on this, Samantha,” sez he.

He looked sad and deprested, and though I was bound not to give in and go, yet I made some inquiries.