’When the king heard that, he guessed it was his own wife had given the answer to the man; and he went back and asked was it true she had put the man up to do what he had done.  “It is true,” she said.  “Then you may clear out of this,” he said, “and go back to your own place; for I won’t keep a wife in the house that will be upsetting my judgments.”  “I must go if you bid me to,” she said; “but do you remember your promise to me, to bring away three ass-loads with me of whatever I would choose?” “You may do that,” he said.  So she got the three asses, and on the first she put her clothes and some money.  And on the second she put her two children.  And then she came back to her husband and stooped down before him.  “Get up on my back,” she said, “till I put you on the ass, for it is yourself I choose to bring along with me for my third load.  So long as I have you and the children with me, what do I care where I go?” “If that is so,” said the king, “you may as well bring in your things again and stop with me.  And I will never drive you away again,” he said.’

* * * * *

Another man said:  ’There was a man in Ballinasloe Asylum that was not very mad—­just a little mad—­and he used to be raking about the gate.  And there was a clock over the gate; and one day the doctor was going out, and he took his watch out and looked up, and he said to himself, “That clock is not right.”  “If it was right, it wouldn’t be in here,” said the man that was raking.’

* * * * *

‘I have a sorrowful story,’ says another man.  ’I am blind, and I hurt my hip.  And I have a brother fighting for the Queen and for the King, and a son fighting against the Boers, and neither of them ever sent me anything.’ (But this was received without much sympathy, and with what I imagine to represent derisive cheers.)

* * * * *

A very wild-looking man told ’on behalf of a poor man inside’—­to get him a bit of tobacco—­a long story about a farmer who worked hard himself, to give his sons time for schooling.

’One of them made money in the West Indies by teaching, and he came back; and his mother was in the house, and she didn’t know him; and he asked might he stop the night.  “Indeed, I can’t give you leave to do that,” she said; “for a travelling man stopped for a night not long ago; and when he went away in the morning, he brought with him the flannel bawneen and the pants of the man of the house, that were hanging on the hedge to dry.  But stop here for a while,” she said, “and rest yourself.”

’Presently the father came in, and didn’t know him; and when he heard what the wife had said, he was vexed, and said:  “A thousand men might come the road, and not one of them do what that travelling man did.  And I am sorry, sir,” he said, “that my wife gave you such a reason.”

’Then the potatoes were ready, and they were put on a skip for the dinner; and they asked the gentleman to help himself; and they gave him a knife but it had but half a blade; and they said they were sorry to have no better a one to give him.  But he peeled his potatoes with that.