“But I am young yet, and I need first to discover if I have tastes for such pursuits.”

“A youthful Methusaleh might make that objection; but your years are too few to pause while making a selection.”

“At first when I came to Oaklands, I was perplexed to know how the long days and years were to be occupied.”

“Have you since then found for yourself a career?”

“I am finding an abundance of work, if I only am willing to do it.”

“You must not get so absorbed in deeds of charity that you forget the duties belonging to yourself and position.  Oaklands may not always be your home, with its pastoral enjoyments.  You should endeavor to fit yourself for wider and higher spheres of action.”

“In the meantime, however, my life must be got through some way.  If I can help others to be happier, surely my time cannot be quite wasted; and I may the easier render my final account.”

“Ah, that’s a perplexing question—­our final settlement for the deeds of this life.”

I looked my surprise at his tone of voice.

“You have not learned yet, Medoline, to doubt.  Very well, never begin.  It’s horrible having no sure anchor to hold by when death forces one into unknown oceans, or shipwrecks with annihilation.”

“Death never can do that, if we trust in Christ, who turned our last enemy into a blessed angel.”

“Your faith is very beautiful, and is, no doubt, sufficient for your utmost intellectual needs; and by all means hold to it as you would to your life.”

“I think it is the same that St. Paul, and Martin Luther, and John Milton, and a thousand, yes a million other noblest intellects, held firmly.  Surely it will serve for me.”

“You are satisfied, then, to think with the crowd?”

“Yes, until something more reasonable is given me than God’s word and revealed religion.  But, Mr. Winthrop, I am only a heard believer.  I am not a Christian, really.”

“If I believed the Bible as you do, I would not risk my soul one half hour without complying with every command of the Scriptures.  You who so firmly believe, and yet live without the change of heart imperatively demanded by the Bible, are the most foolhardy beings probably in the entire universe.”

“Are we any more foolish than those who dare to doubt with the same evidence that we possess?”

“Possibly not; but I think you are.”

I was silent; for there came to me a sudden consciousness that Mr. Winthrop was right.  I had no doubts about the great truths of our religion; and what excuse then could I offer for not accepting them to the very utmost of my human need?

CHAPTER XI.

City life.