But as I grew stronger I turned from the past and its memories, bitter-sweet, and set myself resolutely to the duty of living my life well, independently of its secret unrest and pain.  I knew that many before me, multitudes after me, would be called to endure a like discipline, and the world, no doubt, is the richer in what it holds as imperishable because of the compensation suffering brings; for if we take with a docile mind the discipline God gives, there will always be compensation.  One day, when I had come back strengthened from a long drive along the seashore, a very pleasant surprise awaited me.  Mrs. Flaxman had received letters from Mr. Winthrop which, to my surprise, she did not share with me.  But she handed me a check for two hundred dollars, which I was to distribute among my poor friends.  That money I believe helped to change the destinies of several lives:  for I tried to lay it out in a way that would help some to improve their chances to make life a success.

June, with its flowers and perfumes, came at last; and in the early morning, when I used to ramble through the stretches of flowers and shrubbery, and under the trees, tremulous with bird song, I wondered how the owner of all this beauty could willingly banish himself from it.  Thomas permitted me to gather flowers at will—­a favor I used to the utmost, among others sending Mrs. Le Grande a daily remembrance from Oaklands, in the shape of a bouquet of the choicest blossoms.

At last I resolved to follow the flowers myself, though at the risk of the second time incurring Mr. Winthrop’s displeasure; but if she were soon to die, as her attendants seemed to expect, surely here was missionary work right at my door.  I found the cottage a perfect bower of roses.  The garden in front was a wilderness of the choicest varieties I had ever seen, and in the windows nothing could be seen but green leaves and blossoms of every varying tint.  It seemed hard to believe that the rarest rose of all was lying there, fading slowly away amid all this fragrance and beauty.  I rang the bell, which was answered by the same little maid who had received me before.  I asked for Mrs. Le Grande.

“She’s no better, ma’am, and Missus thinks she’ll never be; but, my! we dassent tell her; she’s that ’fraid of death.”

“Does she see strangers?”

“There’s not many comes to see her, but I’ll tell her you’re here.  Just step in here, please, and sit down for a minute.”

She opened a door near by; but I thanked her and said I would wait in the garden among the roses for her answer.

She soon came for me with a smiling face, saying Mrs. Le Grande would be glad to see me, and then led the way to her room.

Mrs. Le Grande was reclining in an invalid’s chair, propped up with pillows, a rich satin quilt thrown over her feet, and robed in a pink silk wrapper that matched perfectly her exquisite complexion and the roses fastened in her hair.  She received me with a gaiety that, under the circumstances, astonished me, saying:  “Why, how well you look!  Your attack of fever could not have been so severe as mine.”