been womanish in its plainness but for the gravity
that had grown upon it, only occasionally dispersed
by a smile of scholarliness and sweetness which had
the effect of being permitted, conceded. He had
the long thin nose which looked as if, for preference,
it would be for ever thrust among the pages of the
Fathers; and anyone might observe the width of his
mouth without perhaps detecting the patience and decision
of the upper lip. The indignity of spectacles
he did not yet wear, but it hovered over him; it was
indispensable to his personality in the long run.
In figure he was indifferently tall and thin and stooping,
made to pass unobservedly along a pavement, or with
the directness of humble but important business among
crowds. At Oxford he had interested some of his
friends and worried others by wistful inclinations
toward the shelter of that Mother Church which bids
her children be at rest and leave to her the responsibility.
Lindsay, with his robust sense of a right to exist
on the old unmuddled fighting terms, to be a sane and
decent animal, under civilised moral governance a
miserable sinner, was among those who observed his
waverings without prejudice, or anything but an affectionate
solicitude that whichever way Arnold went he should
find the satisfactions he sought. The conviction
that settled the matter was accidental, the work of
a moment, a free instinct and a thing made with hands—the
dead Shelley where the sea threw him and the sculptor
fixed him, under his memorial dome in the gardens
of University College. Here one leafy afternoon
Arnold came so near praying that he raised his head
in some confusion at the thought of the profane handicraftsman
who might claim the vague tribute of his spirit.
Then fell the flash by which he saw, deeply concealed
in his bosom and disguised with a host of spiritual
wrappings, what he uncompromisingly identified as the
artistic bias, the aesthetic point of view. The
discovery worked upon him so that he spent three days
without consummated prayer at all, occupied in the
effort to find out whether he could yet indeed worship
in purity of spirit, or how far the paralysis of the
ideal of mere beauty had crept upon his devotions.
In the end he cast the artistic bias, the aesthetic
point of view, as far from him as his will would carry,
and walked away in another direction from which, if
he turned his head, he could see the Church of Rome
sitting with her graven temptations gathered up in
her skirts, looking mournfully after him. He
had been a priest of the Clarke Mission to Calcutta,
a “Clarke Brother,” six years when he stood
in the door of Ahsing’s little shop in Bentinck
street while Lindsay explained to Ahsing his objection
to patent-leather toe caps; six years which had not
worn or chilled him, because, as he would have cheerfully
admitted, he had recognised the facts and lowered
his personal hopes of achievement—lowered
them with a heroism which took account of himself
as no more than a spiritual molecule rightly inspired