is so rife in the eyes of all men, should have
taken pleasure in my company. I will confess
to a foolish woman’s silly vanity in having
wished to be known to be the friend of the Duke
of Omnium. I am like the other moths that
flutter near the light and have their wings burned.
But I am wiser than they in this, that having been
scorched, I know that I must keep my distance.
You will easily believe that a woman, such as I
am, does not refuse to ride in a carriage with
your Grace’s arms on the panels without a
regret. I am no philosopher. I do not pretend
to despise the rich things of the world, or the high
things. According to my way of thinking a woman
ought to wish to be Duchess of Omnium;—but
she ought to wish also to be able to carry her
coronet with a proper grace. As Madame Goesler
I can live, even among my superiors, at my ease.
As your Grace’s wife, I should be easy no longer;
—nor would your Grace.
You will think perhaps that what I write is heartless, that I speak altogether of your rank, and not at all of the affection you have shown me, or of that which I might possibly bear towards you. I think that when the first flush of passion is over in early youth men and women should strive to regulate their love, as they do their other desires, by their reason. I could love your Grace, fondly, as your wife, if I thought it well for your Grace or for myself that we should be man and wife. As I think it would be ill for both of us, I will restrain that feeling, and remember your Grace ever with the purest feeling of true friendship.
Before I close this letter, I must utter a word of gratitude. In the kind of life which I have led as a widow, a life which has been very isolated as regards true fellowship, it has been my greatest effort to obtain the good opinion of those among whom I have attempted to make my way. I may, perhaps, own to you now that I have had many difficulties. A woman who is alone in the world is ever regarded with suspicion. In this country a woman with a foreign name, with means derived from foreign sources, with a foreign history, is specially suspected. I have striven to live that down, and I have succeeded. But in my wildest dreams I never dreamed of such success as this,—that the Duke of Omnium should think me the worthiest of the worthy. You may be sure that I am not ungrateful,—that I never will be ungrateful. And I trust it will not derogate from your opinion of my worth, that I have known what was due to your Grace’s highness.
I have the honour to be,
My Lord Duke,
Your most obliged and faithful servant,
MARIE MAX GOESLER.