[Footnote 8:  Delivered in Paris, at the Trocadero, 18 December, 1915.]

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THE LIFE OF THE DEAD

XVIII

THE LIFE OF THE DEAD

1

The other day I went to see a woman whom I knew before the war—­she was happy then—­and who had lost her only son in one of the battles in the Argonne.  She was a widow, almost a poor woman; and, now that this son, her pride and her joy, was no more, she no longer had any reason for living.  I hesitated to knock at her door.  Was I not about to witness one of those hopeless griefs at whose feet all words fall to the ground like shameful and insulting lies?  Which of us to-day is not familiar with these mournful interviews, this dismal duty?

To my great astonishment, she offered me her hand with a kindly smile.  Her eyes, to which I hardly dared raise my own, were free of tears.

“You have come to speak to me of him,” she said, in a cheerful tone; and it was as though her voice had grown younger.

“Alas, yes!  I had heard of your sorrow; and I have come....”

“Yes, I too believed that my unhappiness was irreparable; but now I know that he is not dead.”

“What!  He is not dead?  Do you mean that the news...?  But I thought that the body....”

“Yes, his body is down there; and I have even a photograph of his grave.  Let me show it to you.  See, that cross on the left, the fourth cross:  that is where they have laid him.  One of his friends, who buried him, sent me this card, with all the details.  He did not suffer any pain.  There was not even a death-struggle.  And he has told me so himself.  He is quite astonished that death should be so easy, so slight a thing....  You do not understand?  Yes, I see what it is:  you are just as I used to be, as all the others are.  I do not explain the matter to the others; what would be the use?  They do not wish to understand.  But you, you will understand.  He is more alive than he ever was; he is free and happy.  He does just as he likes.  He tells me that one cannot imagine what a release death is, what a weight it removes from you, nor the joy which it brings.  He comes to see me when I call him.  He loves especially to come in the evening; and we chat as we used to do.  He has not altered; he is just as he was on the day when he went away, only younger, stronger, handsomer.  We have never been happier, or more united, or nearer to one another.  He divines my thoughts before I utter them.  He knows everything; he sees everything; but he cannot tell me everything he knows.  He says that I must be wanting to follow him and that I must wait for my hour.  And, while I wait, we are living in happiness greater than that which was ours before the war, a happiness which nothing can ever trouble again....”

Those about her pitied the poor woman; and, as she did not weep, as she was gay and smiling, they believed her mad.