’I think you know, Mary, that no idea of this kind had ever entered my mind.  I told Julian this, and told him that, however I might esteem him as my cousin, he could never be nearer or dearer to me than that.  The change in his face when he heard this almost frightened me.  He grew deadly pale, but I am certain it was anger rather than disappointment that was uppermost in his mind.  I never knew until then what a hard cruel face it could be.

“Is this irrevocable, Emily?” he asked, in a cold firm voice; “is there no hope that you will change your mind by and by?”

“No, Julian; I am never likely to do that.”

“There is some one else, then, I suppose,” he said.

“No, indeed, there is no one else.”

“Highly complimentary to me!” he cried, with a harsh laugh.

’I was very sorry for him, in spite of that angry look.

“Pray don’t imagine that I do not appreciate your many high qualities, Julian,” I said, “or that I do not feel honoured by your preference for me.  No doubt there are many women in the world better deserving your regard than I am, who would be able to return it.”

“Thank you for that little conventional speech,” he cried with a sneer.  “A man builds all his hopes of happiness on one woman, and she coolly shatters the fabric of his life, and then tells him to go and build elsewhere.  I daresay there are women in the world who would condescend to marry me if I asked them, but it is my misfortune to care only for one woman.  I can’t transfer my affection, as a man transfers his capital from one form of investment to another.”

’We walked on for some time in silence.  I was determined not to be angry with him, however ungraciously he might speak to me; and when we were drawing near home, I begged that we might remain friends still, and that this unfortunate conversation might make no difference between us.  I told him I knew how much my father valued him, and that it would distress me deeply if he deserted Thornleigh on my account.

“Friends!” he replied, in an absent tone; “yes, we are still friends of course, and I shall not desert Thornleigh.”

’He seemed gayer than usual that evening after dinner.  Whether the gaiety was assumed in order to hide his depression, or whether he was really able to take the matter lightly, I cannot tell.  Of course I cannot shut out of my mind the consideration that a marriage with me would be a matter of great worldly advantage to Julian, who has nothing but the salary he receives from my father, and who by such a marriage would most likely secure immediate possession of the business, in which he is already a kind of deputy principal.

’I noticed that my stepmother was especially kind to Julian this evening, and that she and he sat apart in one of the windows for some time talking to each other in a low confidential tone, while my father took his after-dinner nap.  I wonder whether he told her of our interview that afternoon?