of an eminent physician inquiring for particular symptoms,
showed that he still knew what he was talking about;
but he made no comments and gave no directions.
He not only puzzled the gentlemen on the stock exchange,
but he was himself surprised at the extent of his
indifference. As it seemed only to increase,
he made an effort to combat it; he tried to interest
himself and to take up his old occupations. But
they appeared unreal to him; do what he would he somehow
could not believe in them. Sometimes he began
to fear that there was something the matter with his
head; that his brain, perhaps, had softened, and that
the end of his strong activities had come. This
idea came back to him with an exasperating force.
A hopeless, helpless loafer, useful to no one and detestable
to himself—this was what the treachery
of the Bellegardes had made of him. In his restless
idleness he came back from San Francisco to New York,
and sat for three days in the lobby of his hotel, looking
out through a huge wall of plate-glass at the unceasing
stream of pretty girls in Parisian-looking dresses,
undulating past with little parcels nursed against
their neat figures. At the end of three days he
returned to San Francisco, and having arrived there
he wished he had stayed away. He had nothing
to do, his occupation was gone, and it seemed to him
that he should never find it again. He had nothing
to do here, he sometimes said to himself; but there
was something beyond the ocean that he was still to
do; something that he had left undone experimentally
and speculatively, to see if it could content itself
to remain undone. But it was not content:
it kept pulling at his heartstrings and thumping at
his reason; it murmured in his ears and hovered perpetually
before his eyes. It interposed between all new
resolutions and their fulfillment; it seemed like
a stubborn ghost, dumbly entreating to be laid.
Till that was done he should never be able to do anything
else.
One day, toward the end of the winter, after a long
interval, he received a letter from Mrs. Tristram,
who apparently was animated by a charitable desire
to amuse and distract her correspondent. She gave
him much Paris gossip, talked of General Packard and
Miss Kitty Upjohn, enumerated the new plays at the
theatre, and inclosed a note from her husband, who
had gone down to spend a month at Nice. Then came
her signature, and after this her postscript.
The latter consisted of these few lines: “I
heard three days since from my friend, the Abbe Aubert,
that Madame de Cintre last week took the veil at the
Carmelites. It was on her twenty-seventh birthday,
and she took the name of her, patroness, St. Veronica.
Sister Veronica has a life-time before her!”