Madame de Cintre was irretrievably lost; and yet, as
he would have said himself, he didn’t see his
way clear to giving her up. He found it impossible
to turn his back upon Fleurieres and its inhabitants;
it seemed to him that some germ of hope or reparation
must lurk there somewhere, if he could only stretch
his arm out far enough to pluck it. It was as
if he had his hand on a door-knob and were closing
his clenched fist upon it: he had thumped, he
had called, he had pressed the door with his powerful
knee and shaken it with all his strength, and dead,
damning silence had answered him. And yet something
held him there—something hardened the grasp
of his fingers. Newman’s satisfaction had
been too intense, his whole plan too deliberate and
mature, his prospect of happiness too rich and comprehensive
for this fine moral fabric to crumble at a stroke.
The very foundation seemed fatally injured, and yet
he felt a stubborn desire still to try to save the
edifice. He was filled with a sorer sense of wrong
than he had ever known, or than he had supposed it
possible he should know. To accept his injury
and walk away without looking behind him was a stretch
of good-nature of which he found himself incapable.
He looked behind him intently and continually, and
what he saw there did not assuage his resentment.
He saw himself trustful, generous, liberal, patient,
easy, pocketing frequent irritation and furnishing
unlimited modesty. To have eaten humble pie,
to have been snubbed and patronized and satirized and
have consented to take it as one of the conditions
of the bargain—to have done this, and done
it all for nothing, surely gave one a right to protest.
And to be turned off because one was a commercial person!
As if he had ever talked or dreamt of the commercial
since his connection with the Bellegardes began—as
if he had made the least circumstance of the commercial—as
if he would not have consented to confound the commercial
fifty times a day, if it might have increased by a
hair’s breadth the chance of the Bellegardes’
not playing him a trick! Granted that being commercial
was fair ground for having a trick played upon one,
how little they knew about the class so designed and
its enterprising way of not standing upon trifles!
It was in the light of his injury that the weight
of Newman’s past endurance seemed so heavy; his
actual irritation had not been so great, merged as
it was in his vision of the cloudless blue that overarched
his immediate wooing. But now his sense of outrage
was deep, rancorous, and ever present; he felt that
he was a good fellow wronged. As for Madame de
Cintre’s conduct, it struck him with a kind
of awe, and the fact that he was powerless to understand
it or feel the reality of its motives only deepened
the force with which he had attached himself to her.
He had never let the fact of her Catholicism trouble
him; Catholicism to him was nothing but a name, and
to express a mistrust of the form in which her religious