* * *

Some highly-strung persons, says a medical writer, are even afraid of inanimate objects.  This accounts for many nervous people being afraid of venturing too near a plumber.

* * *

“I only want the potatoes in the allotment and not the earth,” said a complainant at Deptford.  It is evident that, if this man is a trade unionist, he is a raw amateur.

* * *

Doctors at Vicenza have threatened to strike.  This means that people in that neighbourhood will have to die without medical assistance.

* * *

“Chief Hailstorm,” of the Texas Rangers, has arrived in London.  His brother, Chief Rainstorm, has, of course, been with us most of the summer.

* * *

Girls, declares a well-known City caterer, are acquiring bigger appetites.  We somehow suspected that the demand for a return of the wasp waist had influential interests behind it.

* * *

The wife of a miner in Warwickshire has recently presented her husband with three baby boys.  We understand that Mr. Smillie is sorry to have missed three extra strike-votes which he would have obtained had the boys been born a little earlier.

* * *

An extraordinary story reaches us from North London.  It appears that during the building of a house a brick slipped unnoticed from a hod and fell into its correct position, with the result that the accountant employed by the bricklayers could not balance his books at the end of the day.

* * *

“As science measures time,” declares an eminent geologist, “the Garden of Eden was a thing of yesterday.”  All we can say is, “Where was Councillor Clark yesterday?”

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Special Correspondent. “When they released me they said that if I showed my face in Ireland again I should be shot.”

Editor. “I’ll let these Sinn FEINERS see that I’m not to be intimidated. You’ll go back by the next train.”]

* * * * *

    “Poles over the Line.”

    Evening Paper.

So that accounts for the weather.

* * * * *

“Whatever other defects may be alleged against the scarlet uniform, it certainly makes for two things—­discipline and smartness—­and these two are very important factors in discipline.”

    "Civil and Military Gazette,” Lahore.

Especially the former.

* * * * *

“During the night, she [Mrs. Hamilton, the Channel swimmer] said, ’I occasionally took hot drinks and ate cold roast chicken, the small bones of which I kept chewing, as it seemed to assist me....’

    A strict vegetarian, Mrs. Hamilton will sometimes swim five miles
    before dinner, and skips for a few minutes every day.”