* * *

It is announced that four German War Correspondents have been decorated with the Iron Cross of the Second Class.  We have always maintained that the War Correspondent, like his fighting brother, is not immune from the perils of warfare.

* * *

We are not surprised to learn that the mouth-organ is the favorite instrument among the soldiers in a certain Labour unit.  The advantage of this instrument is that when carried in the pocket it does not spoil the figure like a cello.

* * *

Now that the shortage of starch supply will compel men to wear soft collars it is understood that Mr. George Bernard Shaw, who already wears them soft, proposes to give up collars altogether, so as not to be mistaken for an ordinary man.

* * *

City business houses, it is stated, are adopting the practice of closing during the dinner-hour.  The old fashioned custom of doing business and dining on alternate days had much to recommend it.

* * *

There was no sugar in England when Crecy and Agincourt were fought, as Captain Bathurst told the House of Commons recently.  How the War Office did without its afternoon tea in those barbarous days it is impossible to conjecture.

* * *

The forthcoming Irish Convention is to be held, it is stated, behind locked doors.  Why not add a charming element of adventure to the affair by entrusting some thoroughly absent-minded person with the key?

* * *

Lord esher believes that “our home-coming is not far distant.”  Meanwhile it is cheering to know that quite a number of our fellows are getting home on the Hindenburg line.

* * *

“Walking canes for ladies with small round heads of ivory” are becoming increasingly popular, declared a contemporary.  We ourselves would hesitate to lash the follies of smart Society in a manner quite so frank.

* * *

It appears that at the Bath War Hospital a hen lays an egg every day in a soldier’s locker.  Only physical difficulties prevent the large hearted bird from laying it in his egg-cup.

* * *

ZAMBI, a Zulu native, has just died at the age of a hundred-and-twelve.  It seems that war-worry hastened his end.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Proprietress (as customer becomes obstreperous), “Now then, Willie, over the Top!”]

* * * * *

=Professional Candour.=

From a dentist’s advertisement:—­

    “Teeth extracted with the greatest pains”

* * * * *

    “Wanted.—­Good cook-general, for very small Naval officer’s
    family.”

Isle of Wight Mercury.

Intending applicants should exercise caution.  A very small Naval officer may have a very large family.