Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 152, May 30, 1917 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 46 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 152, May 30, 1917.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 152, May 30, 1917 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 46 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 152, May 30, 1917.

“‘Tell me what you joined for,’ I said more persuasively, for he had been in the Army over a year.  ’You’re the only man in the company, bar your friend Jenks, that turns white at the pop of a cork out of a Worcester sauce bottle.’

“He stroked the bit of hair behind his right ear and let slip a grin like the London and Country mail slots at the G.P.O.

“‘I’ll tell you, Sergeant,’ he said.  ’I never had much heart for soldiering, and I only joined up when I did to spite the girl that jilted me.  She jilted me for Jenks, and no sooner did she say the word to him than she talked him into enlisting too....  That’s why I’m no good.  Every time I remember I’m a soldier I think of her laughing at me, and I feel a fool.’

“‘Well,’ said I, ’she must be proud of you both, for you’re the weariest, wonkiest pair of wash-outs I ever swore at.’

“I didn’t send for Jenks; I could guess his excuse.  He had obviously about as much spirit for fighting as Ruggles, and he was just hanging on and trying not to get hurt before the War stopped.

“We had a few weeks out of the trenches after my chat with Ruggles, and one afternoon I came upon them enjoying a hearty, homely, ten-round hit, kick, and scramble in a quiet corner near their billet.  They looked as if they meant it, but they finished up in about ten minutes, hugging each other in six inches of mud.  Ruggles got up first, and while he waited for Jenks he turned on his Little Tich smile.  It worked; Jenks smiled too, and the rivals went off together like brothers.

“I said nothing, and forgot them again—­clean forgot them, until, a week later, Jenks came to me in Number Seven with a yarn about a crater and a sniper, and might he go and perforate him.

“I had noticed the sniper myself, so I sent Jenks to chase a broom and picked my own men for this job that mattered.  I’d no sooner done it than Ruggles marched up and asked to be made one of the party.

“I just stared at him, and his grin stretched half an inch each way.

“‘I saw Jenks asking you,’ he told me, ’and I won’t be behind Jenks.  Besides, it was me told him of the sniper.’

“‘It’s a change for you two to be worrying over snipers,’ I said.

“‘Well, you’re not grumbling at that, are you, Sergeant?’ said he.

“‘I am not,’ I said.  ’And I hope you’ll keep it up until we’re relieved.’

“‘You watch us,’ he answered.

“I did.  It was Ruggles that put his bayonet into the machine-gunner that had knocked out half the company.  He took the last two bullets in his arm and side; and it was Jenks that put himself between Ruggles’ head and the revolver that would have made pulp of it if Jenks hadn’t got the hand that held it.  He took the bullet in his cheek.

“I saw them in the dressing-station when the shouting was over.  Ruggles was laughing at what Jenks’s face would look like when it was out of bandages.  The bullet had taken away about a third of an ear.  Jenks was cursing because it hurt to laugh back.

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 152, May 30, 1917 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.