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We have received a copy of The Glasgow Weekly Herald, dated “May 56, 1917.”  Trust a Scot to make a good thing go as far as possible.

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“Great jubilation prevailed amongst the people at finding the children alive, and congratulations were extended to their parents that their little ones were not lost in the cavities and chasms of Knocknatubber Mountain, though straying thereon for upwards of 25 years.”—­Nenagh Guardian.

The young “Rips”!

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[Illustration:  National Service Volunteer (late crack billiard player).  “MARKER, HAND ME THE REST.”]

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="IN PRIZE."=

  A ship was built in Glasgow, and oh, she looked a daisy
    (Just the way that some ships do!)
  An’ the only thing against ’er was she allus steered so crazy
    (An’ it’s true, my Johnny Bowline, true!)

  They sent ’er out in ballast to Oregon for lumber,
  An’ before she dropped ’er pilot she all but lost ’er number.

  They sold ’er into Norway because she steered so funny,
  An’ she nearly went to glory before they drawed the money.

  They sold ‘er out o’ Norway—­they sold ’er into Chile,
  An’ Chile got a bargain because she steered so silly.

  They chartered ‘er to Germans with a bunch o’ greasers forrard;
  Old shellbacks wouldn’t touch ’er because she steered so ’orrid.

  She set a course for Bremen with contraband inside ’er,
  An’ she might ’ave got there some time if a cruiser ’adn’t spied ’er.

  She nearly drowned the boarders because she cut such capers,
  But they found she was a German through inspectin’ of ’er papers.

  So they put a crew aboard ‘er, which was both right an’ lawful,
  An’ the prize crew ’ad a picnic, because she steered so awful.

  But they brought ‘er into Kirkwall, an’ then they said, “Lord lumme,
  If I ever see an ‘ooker as steered so kind o’ rummy!”

  But she’ll fetch ’er price at auction, for oh, she looks a daisy
    (Just the way that some ships do!)
  An’ the chap as tops the biddin’ won’t know she steers so crazy
    (But it’s true, my Johnny Bowline, true!)

C.F.S.

=TO MR. BALFOUR ON HIS RETURN.=

  Our hearts go out with all our ships that plough the deadly sea,
  But the ship that brought us safely back the only ARTHUR B.
  Was freighted with good wishes in a very high degree.

  There are heaps of politicians who can hustle and can shriek,
  And some, though very strong in lung, in brains are very weak,
  But A.J.B.’s equipment is admittedly unique.

  His manners are delightful, and the workings of his mind
  Have never shown the slightest trace of self-esteem behind;
  Nor has he had at any time a private axe to grind.